His Heroin Overdose
by FashionPixie89
Summary: Fed up with the ending in New Moon? I was too, so here's my version. Edward comes back though things don't go as smoothly as they did in the books. He has to fight to get Bella back time and time again.
1. Dead from the Inside, Out

**Authors Note:  
Hello everyone!**

I really cannot believe the good feedback that my stories are getting! I want to thank you all for being such amazing readers and for inspiring me to continue on my older pieces and even start new ones. This one in particular is dedicated to 'paramagic310', a reader that enjoyed one of my other alternate endings for New Moon, "Want". I wasn't exactly pleased with that piece, especially since it was the first fanfiction I had ever written, and it was written for a friend using their idea, so here is MY version of how New Moon should have been played out after Edward and the rest of the Cullen's left town and came back.

Thanks for reading,  
Much love,  
- Shantel

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I didn't want to get out of bed, what was the point anymore? I was living in a town that seen the sunshine approximately two times a year. I was living with my father whom rarely found the time or the reason to speak to me. I was going to school each day with people that either hated me for who I had grown close with upon attending Forks High, or adored me because it. The ones that did adore me found less and less reasons to continue communicating with me as the days dragged on upon the Cullen's leaving, though it was obvious they stuck around in a pitying sort of way.

I stared blankly at my digital alarm clock that was beeping madly at me in a pre-organized attempt to wake me from another sleepless night. The energy I knew it would take to reach across the bed over to the bed side table and turn the alarm off seemed to have dissipated. The red numbers reading seven am flashed wildly, challenging me. I refused to give up, especially since I had given up on just about everything else in my life. Smiling, laughing... the only thing less to cease was breathing. I likely would have been making plans to do so if I hadn't made a promise.

A loud knock on my wooden door startled not only me, but the entire bedroom I had made my own since moving to Forks. The walls trembling slightly beneath the force, rattling everything contained within. My body jolted up from the laying position I had been in, Charlie's bellowing voice sounding through the thick door.

"Bells turn that damn thing off and get ready for school. " His voice didn't sound angry, it didn't really sound like anything. Charlie wasn't usually the type to get worked up – or at least he didn't let on that he was. He rarely showed any sort of emotion unless absolutely necessary. I rolled over lifelessly enough to slap my hand down rougher than needed onto the alarm clock, effectively silencing it. I then proceeded to count Charlie's footsteps as he walked away from my bedroom door, not quite in the mood to fake lively movements for his wellbeing. I knew he wouldn't bother trying to come into my bedroom before gaining both permission and clearance from me first – no father in their right mind would ever barge into their teenage daughter's room in fear of being scarred in some fashion. That comforted me, knowing that my bedroom was my sanctuary. It was the one place and the one thing that I could always count on to escape to. Glancing to the alarm clock, I sighed in defeat. Next time...

It took me a few moments to find both the motivation and the energy to actually drag myself out of bed since I had crawled into it the previous night. Over the past few months, I learned to hate the characteristics of mornings like how cold the wood floor is when I first place my feet against it. The crispness of the air from the small draft in my window that always made me shiver. The quietness – something I had always enjoyed – seemed to cut me to the core.

My appearance wasn't something I worried about any longer; there was no one that I was looking to impress. I no longer bothered matching my clothes like all of the other teenage girls at school. I hardly even bothered running a brush through my hair, such idiotic things we all do to make ourselves look presentable. What was the point? All I ever did anymore was wake up, go to school and come back home to go to bed once again.

It didn't take me very long to get dressed for school, only a few seconds to pull on a clean pair of jeans and a random t-shirt. I didn't even bother to see what I had grabbed from inside of my dresser drawer before pulling it over my head, it didn't matter. One thing that hadn't changed however when getting ready for school would be my odd need to look in a mirror before venturing out of the house. I had read somewhere that females often did such a thing instinctively, that most females were self conscious and always felt the need to fix up before making a public appearance. I knew this wasn't the reason as to why I felt the need to stare into a mirror each morning. Although I may have been self conscious, I wasn't vain. I was simply monitoring death.

To anyone else I looked extremely healthy – or as healthy as possible given my situation. My heart was pumping blood at a normal pace. My lungs were inhaling the proper amount of air, my vitals were all as perfect as perfect can be. When I looked into the mirror, I was able to see the decay everyone was oblivious to.

My hair was flat, lifeless. It no longer flowed when I moved, waved when I tilted. It just hung loosely down my shoulders like dead weight. The bags under my eyes reminded me of the soft lavender color beneath the Cullen's topaz eyes, though mine were caused from countless sleepless nights rather than immortality. A deep gray polluting my face, letting everyone I crossed paths with know that I wasn't dreaming a single dream, at least not anymore. My eyes, too, gave proof to that. They were once light up, back when I had a dream I was longing to follow. Back when I had goals and plans. They were extinguished now.

The t-shirt that had once fit my small frame seemed to hang more loosely than before, indicating I had lost weight. I hadn't willingly stopped eating, nor had I done so for vain purposes. My body was simply too exhausted to feel anything other than the immense pain that they had left me with upon leaving. A more physical pain was evident from the vast amount of scrapes, cuts, wounds and bruises littered across my body, though mainly hidden beneath the clothing I wore. I was always careful not to trip, tumble or fall, but what was the use anymore? I was unable to smile, unable to at least pretend there was some sort of bounce in my step. The only thing left in the world that I was good at was being clumsy. Why bother giving that up?

My skin was pasty white, almost translucent. I had always been pale, even while living in Arizona, though I had never been able to blend in with snow. I supposed it was from my inability to leave the house at all, not that there was much sunlight outside to tint my skin a darker color. Too many things outside of my house upset me, reminded me of him... of them. I had taken the time to get rid of everything inside my house and my bedroom especially that did, at least everything that he had forgotten to take with him. Things like the CD's filled with songs that I related to him, to his family, to our relationship and the future it promised. Clothing I had worn that he had complimented me on, blankets that he had slept on while holding me at night. The simplest things I could no longer be around without breaking both on the inside and out.

Having assessed death's progress enough for the day, I brushed my teeth and washed my face before grabbed my schoolbag and making my way downstairs. Charlie usually left for work well before I was awake for school, though over the past six months he had given up going in early to stay home with me. I tried on countless occasions to assure him he didn't need to do such a thing, though he insisted it was best for the both of us. He used this time to force a bowl of cereal down my throat and give me some sort of compliment or another. I assumed he had been talking to someone outside of his tight group of friends and colleagues about my situation. Getting information and advice on how to treat and handle me. Apparently compliments were a human's way to cheer someone up. Too bad I was no longer human. Too bad I was no longer alive.

"You doing anything after school?" I had only been in the kitchen for a few short seconds when Charlie's voice began its usual questioning. "You haven't been returning any of Jessica's calls. You two fighting?"

"No, dad." I hated that he brought up my friends names. I hated that he subtly hinted that he wanted me out of the house doing normal teenage girl things with them. I hated that he spoke to me at all, it only made things that much more difficult for me. It was hard enough to accept the fact that I was dead to the world without having the added pressure of pretending I wasn't. "I've just been busy is all."

"Busy doing what? Sitting in your room all night?" I noticed a change in his normally bland tone.

"I have homework every nigh-"

"Don't give me that homework nonsense Bella. I see your friends around town on weekends."

"I have different classes, different assignments."

"Well then maybe I should have a talk with your teachers. Ask them to ease up on you. It's not healthy, Bella. Not healthy at all."

I gazed up at my father in disbelief that he was actually going to go to my teachers. Sure, I had been lying. I never had more homework than I could complete successfully in one sitting, I just never felt the urge to be around anyone other than myself. I knew that keeping myself company in my bedroom day in and day out scared Charlie, and I knew he wasn't sure what to do about it but it was my problem, not his. It killed me to know that he worried about me and feared for me. It killed me to know that he was aware I was only here because of him. It killed me to know that he caught onto the fact that I didn't make direct eye contact unless needed, that I didn't speak to someone unless spoken to, that I didn't make an appearance unless mandatory. I wanted to be so many things for him, but I just didn't have it in me anymore.

"It's been six months, Bella." Judging by the expression on his face, he had caught the cringe on mine upon hearing just how long it had been since they had left. "You need to move on."

I didn't respond verbally, I didn't respond with a nod or a shake of my head. Not a single shrug of my shoulders indicating I at least understood the words coming from his mouth. Instead, I grabbed my schoolbag from the floor where I had set it mid-conversation and made my way out the door.


	2. Rumors and Gossip

My truck was a senior citizen. That was no secret to anyone in town. Made in 1953, my Chevrolet pickup truck was my only transportation unless I was interested in my father dropping me off and picking me up at school in a police cruiser. We all know nothing slows traffic better than a cop car – and staying in a confined space with my father at this point in my life was not something I was looking to do more often than I had to.

Now don't get me wrong, I absolutely adored my truck. I don't know why, but the orange color, the rust, the peppermint scent mixed with oil... It was the essence of me. Far from girly and not afraid to get dirty. Obviously, my massive truck was also a survivor despite any accident or almost-accident it managed to get itself into, much like myself.

Pulling into the school parking lot, I got the same curious stares I had been getting since the first day as my truck roared and puttered into its typical parking place. We weren't assigned parking spots; this particular one was just always free, probably because it was so far away from the doors to the school, but I didn't mind walking. It occupied my time so that I didn't have to converse with anyone.

Mike, Eric and a few other guys were all crowded around Tyler's van as I climbed out of my truck, shutting the door nosily behind me. Six months earlier, every guy standing at that truck would have been tossing pieces of liquorice at me or hollering to get me to join them at their morning hang out before classes began. Even though I never joined them, it would be nice if they still did that. Anything other than the pointless stares and quiet whispers I got as I walked by. Today was different, however, and not in the good liquorice-throwing way. Today instead of hushed whispers that I was unable to make out though knew were about me, I heard a name, their last name, to be exact. Everyone knew better than to mention them around me, hell, everyone knew better than to mention them at all.

Glancing towards the guys that had been discussing the most talked about and most avoided family in Forks; I tried not to stop dead in my tracks. Stopping to hear a conversation about the people that quite literally ruined my life would only prove to everyone at school and in town that I hadn't moved on. Even though it was evident that they already suspected this, I don't think I was quite ready to prove their theories correct. Sadly, my coordination was nothing without my full concentration and my eyes focused on exactly where I was stepping and exactly where I was stepping to. Though there was no ice on the ground, my feet managed to slip on something (or nothing), sending me falling backwards onto the cold, wet pavement of the student parking lot. Normally Mike, Tyler or Eric would have come to my rescue, but things had changed. It was as if they were too scared to talk to me, let alone come close enough to physically touch me. My cheeks were a deep shade of red as I picked myself up off the soggy ground, completely disgusted at the feeling of my jeans sticking to the back of my legs – completely soaked through. I'd have to endure a few classes sitting in these jeans before they'd eventually finish drying. Brushing myself off, I took those few moments to keep an ear out, as their conversation that was dropped upon my falling had resumed.

"I heard they came back." I could tell Mike's voice from the other's far too easily. It was as if he were purposely trying to speak loud enough for me to hear to judge my reaction. I guess the countless times I had rejected him in the past didn't drill it into his mind.

"Jessica said she seen Doctor and Mrs. Cullen earlier this morning." Eric's voice was much faster than Mike's; he was truly the eyes and the ears of this place.

"You can't trust everything Jessica says." Tyler was talking in a matter-of-fact fashion. "Knowing her, she probably saw a couple that kind of resembled them and stretched it into a massive story about the Cullen's big return. It's not like she – wait... Isn't that Rosalie's BMW?"

The thought of them returning after six months of silence reminded me of the same feeling I experienced when in the presence of blood. My knees weakened, my heart dropped, my breathing picked up as if I were gasping for air. A nauseating feeling set in the pit of my stomach while at the same time I grew light headed. Everything in front of me was spinning so quickly I didn't have time to turn around to validate the car that they suspected was Rosalie's before I hit the ground. My vision blackening, though not before I heard what one could only assume was my head bouncing off the pavement.

"Bella! Bella!" I heard my name being called, I knew it was one of the three guys I had once associated myself with though my head was spinning so quickly (even after falling) that I wasn't able to place a face to the sound of their voice. "Bella, can you hear me?" Yes I could hear him. He certainly wasn't doing wonders for the splitting migraine coursing through my head.

"Mmhmm." I couldn't find my mouth long enough to form actual words, so I settled with sounds as a response. It was better than nothing. It was more than these guys gave me over the past six months.

"Bella, you fell. I think you hit your head. Mike's on the phone with an ambulance, they are going to come and get you. I'll come too. It'll give me a reason to cut class." The speed of the voice talking to me indicated that it was Eric currently hovering over me. I could feel his hands gripping my upper arms as if he were readying himself to sit me up, though he never did. I assumed he was too scared to move me, in fear I had broken my neck. Something that wasn't so hard to believe, knowing me.

"Mmm, no... No ambulance." I wasn't sure if he could understand my mumbles and murmurings, I could barely understand them myself. "Just fell, nothing broke."

"Bella, you need to see a Doctor. You might have hurt yourself, let's be safe about this, okay?" I groaned loudly in detest, shaking my head gently in refusal. Of course, I shouldn't have even thought about doing such a thing, for the moment I did I was sure my head was going to roll off my body entirely.

"Ugh, ow." I opened my eyes to see a crowd of students (and even a few teachers) standing over me. I didn't want to waste time assuring everyone I was oaky, mainly because I had something else on my mind, so I pushed every ounce of pain and discomfort that I was feeling out of my mind. I ignored the dazed feeling that set over me as I sat up, and forced my eyes to focus as best as they could. Countless hands were grabbing at my arms, placed against my back and holding my sides. Apparently a lot of people realized just how clumsy I was, and knew that the probability of me taking a tumble directly after standing to my feet was quite high, though I didn't falter.

Mike had picked my schoolbag up off the wet pavement and tossed it over his shoulder despite me holding my hand out to acquire it. I tried to look at him in confusion, though only managed to wobble slightly on my feet. Apparently turning my head to face him was too quick of a movement. I was quite grateful for the multitude of hands holding me up at that point.

"If you're not going to get in the ambulance, at least let me take you home Bella." I didn't want to go home. Hell, I didn't want to be anywhere near Mike right now. I opened my mouth to protest that, though was quickly silenced with a warning look from Mike as he slipped his arm around my waist to hold me up steadily. "You sure have a knack for falling, Bella." There was laughter in his voice as he spoke, something I missed quite a bit without realizing.

"I blame Forks." The look I got from Mike as he slowly began walking us away from the crowd made me feel as if he thought I was talking nonsense, clearly disoriented from the fall. In reality, I was just horrible at cracking jokes, especially after accidents and in awkward situations. "The ground's all uneven here. It's unnatural." He nodded, finally cluing into what I was trying to say.

"Forks certainly isn't your everyday town, is it?" It was odd hearing this from someone who didn't know what I knew. I wondered if Mike would rephrase that at all if he knew that there were vampires and wolves around, even attending our school at some points.

Mike leaned me carefully against the car he often borrowed from his mother, taking a few moments to place my schoolbag safely in the backseat and start the car for heats sake before helping me over to the passenger side. It was quite embarrassing to have to lean on Mike Newton of all people, though I didn't exactly have much choice at this point.

"Is your dad home or do you need me to call him?" I shook my head gently as I climbed into the passenger seat with Mike's help, my cheeks turning a deep red as he put my seat belt on for me, obviously thinking I was unable to do something so simple for myself. "I don't mind staying with you until your dad gets off work. You're not supposed to sleep for two hours after hitting your head or something like that. You'll need someone to keep you awake." I noticed Mike's face went white in fear that I had taken his generosity in another way all together. "I mean... entertain you. Talk to you, to keep you awake...not..."

"I know." My voice was tired, uninterested. "I'm actually not interested in going home, would you mind driving me down to La Push?" I didn't need to explain what for; Mike had been introduced to Jacob a couple of times in the past. Though they didn't really know each other, they seemed to like each other more than they liked Edward. I cringed upon remembering his name. "Are the Cullen's really back?"

Mike decided to wait until after he closed the door and made his way into the driver's seat to answer me, pushing the car into drive. "That's what I've heard... I haven't seen any of them for myself, but we did see Rosalie's car in the school parking lot. If Doctor and Mrs. Cullen took her back, chances are Emmett and the rest aren't far behind." I knew that he was likely right. If Rosalie was in fact in town, Emmett likely wouldn't have let her come alone. The two were just as attached to the hip as any other couple in their family.

I wasn't looking at Mike as he spoke, nor was I looking out the window. I feared that if I moved my head to make eye contact as he spoke, my head would go all light again and I'd surely vomit in his mother's rather pristine car. If I looked out the window at the constantly moving scenery that we passed, I knew my chances of fighting back the nausea I felt would fail. Throwing up both in front of someone I used to be close with, and in their mother's car was surely more embarrassing than taking a typical tumble.

"I'm surprised you don't want me to take you over there, to check it out for yourself. I thought that you'd have been the first person they called to let know they were coming back to town... Have they kept in contact with you at all since they left?" I could tell Mike was taking this one-on-one time to ask me all of the questions everyone had been whispering, dying to ask me themselves but were clearly too afraid. "I mean... you were really close with them, weren't you?" I could feel the hole in my chest being stretched open.

"Things change." I didn't want to get into detail about why they left, nor did I want to touch on the lack of contact on their behalf. It was bad enough my boyfriend, my best friend and the family they belonged to that I was so close with up and left town in one day without any warnings. I didn't want to think at all about the fact that they didn't even call to check in on me... to let me know that they were okay. That part killed me just as horribly.

"Yeah, I guess."

I could tell we were getting closer to the reservation. The smoothly paved road was getting rockier, indicating we were quickly approaching a dirt road that lead to the rez. My mind was quickly occupied (mainly by force) at the thought of seeing Jacob. We didn't have plans to meet up today, though I found myself in desperate need of my best friend. Both Jacob and I had grown incredibly close over the past six months, something I hadn't expected in the slightest. I knew he was the only thing holding the pieces of myself that they Cullen's had left behind, together. I knew without him, I'd be as dead as the leaves polluting the ground. Anytime I knew I was going to be able to see him, the hole that had been stretching itself out over the past six months seemed to numb. For a few moments at least, I was just a girl again.

I was beyond thankful that Mike didn't bother picking up the hurtful conversation, instead choosing to stay quiet. I was even more grateful to see Jacob's house pull into view as Mike moved into the short driveway. Jacob was peeking out the window from behind the mismatched curtains, trying to figure out who's car was in his driveway, though didn't seem to mind it belonged to Mike of all people once he saw me in the front seat. I returned his massive smile.

"Do you want me to help you inside?" Mike had his hand on the door handle, ready to jump out at my command. I shook my head gently, carefully. Mike moved away from his closed door, instead leaning into the backseat far enough to grab my schoolbag for me. "Want me to carry this in for you?"

"No, it's not too heavy." I took my schoolbag from Mike's hands, faking a grateful smile as best as I could. I could tell by the amused look on his face I probably looked terrible – I was never good at lying or faking anything. "Thanks for driving me here, I -"

"Do you need me to pick you up? I don't mind. I can tell Mr. Banner about what happened, I'm sure he'll have no problem with me cutting class." It was evident I was an excuse rather than a priority.

"Jacob can drive."

"Alright, well... You have my cell number if you need me. I'll leave it on in class just in case."

"Thanks Mike."

I reached out to open the door, though found my arm unable to locate the door at all. In fact, my hand was outside, I could feel the cold air stinging my bare hand. I could hear Jacob's deep laugh, the musical sound of it pulling a smile across my lips before I even looked over to him.

"Didn't feel or even hear me open the door, did you Bells? What, did you fall and bump your head this morning?" I could feel the car shaking as Mike joined in the laughter, my eyes darting to him in warning. He must not have noticed, for he decided to sell me down the river anyways.

"Actually, she did! Tripped on air in typical Bella style and bonked her head off the pavement. I was going to take her to the hospital, or at least home but she insisted on coming here."

I slowly pulled my glare away from Mike and looked up at the ever growing Jacob innocently. His dark brown eyes were narrowed, burning down into mine. It was obvious that he wasn't exactly pleased with me, I couldn't blame him. I was just glad that he wasn't like Edward, consistently blaming himself for my own faults. Instead, he pointed the blame where it belonged, on me.

"You hit your head?" His question was earnest, almost as if validating the rumour he had just heard.

"Yes." I nodded my head, unable to help but relate this to an interrogation. I got quite a few of those from my father over the past year. He had spent his whole life being a police officer; he sometimes forgot how to question someone as a normal human being.

"How hard did you fall?" I could practically hear the worry setting in.

"I'm alive, aren't I?" I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't a surprise or a shock to me that I had fallen and hurt myself. I did it every other day; it really didn't make a difference. I had always been clumsy, and I will very likely always be clumsy.

I felt Jacob's warm hands on my shoulders, leaning me forward so that he could expect my head for himself. I obliged, not wanting to jerk away in fear I'd either tumble out of the car or vomit. His fingers pushed my hair around extremely gently, trailing along my scalp in search of a bump or abrasion. I adored the warmth of his touch – especially on such cold, rainy days like today.

"Bells, you're bleeding." I felt my gag reflex kick in automatically. "Calm down, it's not bad." I hated when he spoke to me like I was a child. I was older than him, after all.

"Hardly bleeding at all." I could feel Mike leaning over the seat to inspect for himself. I felt like an animal having tests and studies performed on me while people observed and poked at me with sticks. "I've seen worse."

I knew the moment Mike said those words that Jacob was going to start getting cranky. Jacob was quite protective over me, especially after the Cullen's had up and left. He knew the significance of something as small as a paper cut could inevitably lead to my death. A bump on the head to Jacob might as well have been a near death experience.

I was going to jump into the conversation before the two started tearing at each other's throats, though the light feeling I had been experiencing all of a sudden increased. I moved my hands out to grip the seat, feeling as if I were floating but there was nothing there to hold onto. Glancing around, I took notice to the fact that Jacob had all too easily lifted me out of the car and was carrying me close to his chest. The heat of his body didn't protect me from the rain, but it certainly shielded me from the cold. My schoolbag was flung carelessly over his shoulder as he kicked Mike's door closed as gently as possibly for someone as huge as Jacob was. I waved good-bye to Mike, getting a small wave in return as he pulled out of the driveway and sped down the dirt road leading back to Forks. Obviously trying to show off what he assumed were awesome driving skills.

"I can walk, you know."

"Like that does you any good, Bella. I'd trust Billy's walking skills before I trusted yours." I glared up at him for that comment. He only smiled victoriously in return. I had to admit, he was getting quite good with his comebacks. I suppose in some ways he really was older and more advanced than me.

The steps leading up to Jacob's front door creaked as he carried me up them, a sound I loved and had memorized over the last six months. Inside, the house was incredibly warm, welcoming. Usually Billy was parked in front of the television, though today that spot seemed to be vacated. Knowing Jacob's father, he was likely out and about with mine.

I knew that Jacob was going to set me down on the sofa in the living room well before he did. It was my home away from home, nestled into the old cushions that smelt just like he did. I never needed nor requested blankets while in Jacob's house. His body acted like a space heater, heating whatever room he was situated in almost instantly. I bet Billy enjoyed that during the cold seasons. Definitely a penny saver.

"I'm going to grab you a pair of sweats. A t-shirt, too." He stood in front of me even after stating that, as if he had asked a question.

"I don't need them, I'm almost completely dry." I didn't want to unzip my raincoat in case that movement set me off, so instead I stayed in the layer of noisy, crinkling material.

"I'd give you something to press against the back of your head, but it's pretty much stopped bleeding." He must have noticed my face turn white at the mention of blood, for he cringed in apology. "Wasn't that bad anyways. Want something to drink? Eat?" I shook my head slowly in refusal. "Want me to call Charlie, let him know what's up?"

"No!" My voice was almost repulsed sounding. The last thing Charlie needed was to be worrying that I had screwed myself up anymore than I already was.

"I still think Mike's right, Bells. You should at least see a doctor. Why didn't you let him take you over? Charlie didn't have to know."

"Because I was scared." I couldn't stop the words before they escaped my lips. I was so used to telling Jacob everything since we had grown close that it didn't even dawn on me to bite my tongue in this instance.

"Scared? Scared of what?" I watched Jacob move from the leaning position he was in against the wall, straightening his body out in a threatening sort of way as he crossed his arms over his muscular chest. I couldn't help but smile at how slightly adorable his attempt at being manly was.

"It's nothing." I didn't feel like upsetting Jacob over the rumours I had heard today. The last thing I wanted was to start fighting with my best friend. The one person left in the world I relied on.

"You're lying."

"I know."

"Just tell me, I can handle it."

"I know."

"Bella..." I rolled my eyes. It wasn't fair how easily I gave into him; I barely even put up a fight.

"I was scared that Carlisle might have been there..." Jacob looked at me as if I had gone completely insane. I probably had.

"They've been gone for six months, Bella. He doesn't even work there anymore."

"I know that, I just heard things today that make me believe otherwise."

"Things? Like what?"

"Things like... they're back."

I heard a deep, guttural growl from behind Jacob's lips before it even surfaced. I was used to his animal side sneaking out every once in a while even though he was still in his human form, though his growling was usually caused by Paul or Embry giving him a rough time. Not by something I ever said or did. I didn't know that I had it in me to make Jacob this angry. I was both slightly amused and mildly intrigued.

It was a long few minutes of silence between us before I decided to rearrange the position I had been sitting in. It didn't really spark a conversation either about the topic at hand or a new subject all together, but it was a distraction for the two of us. I wasn't sure if I was willing to be the first to speak, especially after already cursing myself up and down for bringing the rumour up. Perhaps it would just be best to let Jacob cool himself down and talk when he was ready.

It didn't take him long at all to move himself to the side of the living room that I was occupying, sitting down in a lazy-boy chair that was generally in front of the sofa I sat on. I felt a smile tug on the corners of my lips as I took notice to just how insignificant Jacob's massive form made the reclining chair look, though such observations didn't block me from noticing the permanent scowl etched on his face.

"What, does he think he can just prance back into your life like nothing happened?" I winced at his words. I hadn't even thought about what was going to happen if the Cullen's were in fact in town. My lack of comment on his statement only seemed to fuel Jacob's anger. "You're just going to let him, too, aren't you?"

I hadn't thought about it. I loved Edward, everyone knew that. The people we went to school with, the teachers that witnessed us side by side in class. Our families and close friends... Everyone knew just how much we meant to each other... or at least, did. I had come to terms with the fact that the Cullen's may or may not be back in town, though I hadn't gone past that concept. What would I do if they were back? Would I let them back into my life as easily as I had the first time around? Would they even want to see me, or would they rather live in solitude? Did they come back because Edward had changed his mind, or was Forks the only place they could go and live a normal life without people finding out what they were? I had so many questions that would remain unanswered, ad for god knows how long. Gaining answers would mean throwing away the past six months long enough to approach them. I didn't know if I was that strong, I didn't know if they were even going to stick around.

"I haven't really thought about I-"

"I knew it." Jacob shook his head furiously, his large hands gripping the arms of the chair. I worried for the fabric, in fear it would tear. "You're such a masochist, Bella. You'll let people hurt you over and over again, and for what? Do you enjoy it?"

"No!" This time it was my voice that was furious. "How can you even think that?" Of all people, Jacob knew the most about what happened between Edward and I, and the true reasons for why the Cullen's had up and left town. He knew and experienced the pain I had been put through over the past six months because of it, and he had the audacity to accuse me of enjoying it? "Obviously I made a mistake in coming here. I thought I had a best friend, now I'm not so sure."

"Don't even start with me, Bella. You came to me when the Cullen's left. I took care of you, I protect you and this is how you repay me?"

"I don't need protecting, Jacob."

"The back of your head says otherwise..."

I was positive that my body was shaking in anger by this point, my body moving to stand up before my mind clued into its plan. I wasn't staying in the same room as him, not right now. Jacob on the other hand, didn't quite understand what I was doing until I had walked straight past him and out the front door and out into the pouring rain.

I hadn't gotten very far at all, only a few feet past his driveway when I felt him burning by my side. I was walking as fast as my legs could carry me but it didn't seem to matter. Jacob was able to keep up easily, making me curse his most recent growth spurt. I refused to look up at him; I refused to slow down to a stop. I needed away from him.

"Bella, hold on."

"Leave me alone, Jacob. I have nothing to say to you." My hands were balled up into fists at my side as Jacob moved himself to stand in front of me, effectively blocking my way. I wasn't stupid; I knew there was no way around him. "Get out of my way, Jacob."

"Listen! I'm not going to let you run back to that bloodsucker! He doesn't deserve you, Bella! He left you!" I could feel his warm hands gripping my shoulders, refusing to let me past despite my struggling. "What would you even say to them?! You know they're just going to end up packing up and leaving again!" I didn't care. I just needed to know, for myself.

"I'm going back to school, I have a test."

"No, you're going back to school because you know he'll be there."

"I just need to know, Jacob... I can't spend all day wondering, it'll drive me insane."

"It's better than you seeing them and breaking all over again."

"That's your theory." I despised that Jacob assumed he knew everything about my situation. I wasn't even sure if Jacob had ever ha d a girlfriend, let alone a soul mate. Perhaps if he had, he'd know what it was like.

I was still struggling against his grip, though to no avail. It was evident he was getting fed up with the amount of effort I was trying to put into escaping him to run to Edward, his actions and his grip on my arms were getting rougher as his anger progressed. I winced at the force he was putting into holding me back, knowing I would surely have hand-shaped bruises on my upper arms for a good few days. I'd have to make sure to war long sleeved shirts around the house and at school. The last thing I needed was anyone in town – my father included – thinking I was being abused.

"Bella calm down! Stop thrashing, you're going to hurt yourself." I refused to listen, and Jacob had given up on holding me by my arms, instead stepping behind me and wrapping his massive arms around my torso. My legs were kicking furiously at the air.

"Let. Me. Go!" My voice was a loud shriek; I wouldn't be surprised if I was drawing attention to the two of us.

"How are you going to get there, Bella? It's quite a walk, you know that. I'm sure as hell not driving you, and if you call Charlie, I'll tell him why you're at my house rather than in school where you're supposed to be." Blackmail, touché.

"I'll walk, now let me go!" For some unknown reason, Jacob decided to listen to me now of all times, dropping his arms from around me. I hit the ground, flinching at the pain of my skin scraping against the wet rocks. My knees and palms stung, indicating I'd have even more wounds to tend to once I got home, though they didn't stop me from picking myself up and continuing my walk just as quickly as I had been before Jacob interrupted it. I didn't care how long it took me to get back, I just had to know.


	3. Always Hated Biology

By the time I had gotten back to school, the bell was ringing, indicating that the students could make their way to the last class of the day. It had taken me quite a while to walk the entire way from the La Push reservation all the way back to the school. My entire body was drenched from head to toe, my sneakers squeaked and squashed with each and every single step that I took. My feet and legs were killing me; the muscles worked more than they had been in the past few months. I would surely be limping and taking it incredibly easy for the next few days. I could even ell the coming of a cold. Not something I needed at all.

My truck was still seated in the parking place I had left it in this morning, Mike's car right next to it. It was quite odd for anyone, let alone an old friend to park next to me. Especially since I had parked so far away from the school. I had never thought about leaving a spare change of clothes in my truck like every other female at school left in their car, I had always thought it was kind of vain. Right about now, I was cursing myself for not joining the fad.

It took me only a few minutes for me to walk across the puddle of a parking lot, not caring about stepping around the water pooled there instead of treading through it. Inside of the school seemed to be just as wet from all of the students running in and out of the buildings all day. I was extra careful walking along the tiled floor, trying my hardest not to slip. My sneakers were too wet to grip anything, let alone a newly waxed floor.

Biology class had already begun, though I don't think anyone really minded when I entered. Of course, I got a few glances due to my current appearance. I was as white as a ghost from the incident earlier, my clothes dripping rain water.

"Gosh Bella, did you fall in the ocean too?" I glared at Mike who shared a table with Jessica. I wasn't sure if they were still dating, just friends, or in yet another post break-up phase. It was far too hard to keep up with the two, so I didn't bother anymore.

I decided it was best just to ignore Mike along with everyone's gaze that seemed to shift to me as I walked into the classroom in hopes that they would switch back to the topic currently being taught.

My eyes were on the floor as I slowly made my way to my table, being sure not to slip on the equally as slippery floor in the classroom. I had drawn enough attention to myself today as it was, I didn't need any more.

The moment I looked up to locate the stool I usually occupied, my eyes landed on something I hadn't prepared myself to see. Something I hadn't taken notice to since entering the classroom. I felt all of the oxygen I had just inhaled escape my lungs; I felt the blood drain from my face, like I had seen a ghost. No, I was seeing a ghost, a ghost from my past. All eyes were on me, waiting for a reaction. Waiting for answers to the questions they had been longing to ask me over the past six months.

I wanted to run. I wanted to pretend for the briefest of moments that my feet worked well enough to carry me out of the classroom as fast as possible without tripping and forcing me to make a fool of myself. I wanted to ignore my beast of a truck outside, run past it to the comforts of my home a few miles away. I wanted to crawl into my bed, and I wanted to die. Instead, I took my usual place on my usual stool. I set my wet schoolbag on the usual side of the table as I always did, and I stared blankly up to the front of the class as I usually always did.

It didn't take long for the topic being studied to pick up once again, though I was unable to concentrate enough to follow along. A few eyes were still on me – mainly my old friends like Mike and Jessica, obviously waiting for me to do or say something to the stranger sitting next to me. At least, that's what he was to me now. Of course, just because people's eyes were on me didn't mean that I wasn't being whispered about. I knew that a lot of people in the classroom along with me expected me to act out upon seeing Edward for the first time since his immediate and unexpected departure six months ago. Hell, I'd even expected more of a reaction than I showed. I was cool, calm and collected on the outside, despite the pain, tearing and potential death I was feeling inside.

"You're cold." I was amazed. His voice had always had a huge effect on me, always smooth and perfect like silk. I was so sure over the last half of a year that if I just had the chance to hear it once again, that everything would be okay. I was amazed at how wrong I was. His voice – though still like silk – cut me like a razor. I winced.

My lack of response may have silenced him from pursuing any other whispered conversation as the class progressed, though it didn't stop him from staring at me. I could feel his topaz eyes watching my every movement - though I was hardly moving at all. He had always said he enjoyed just watching me breathe, watching me be alive, be human. I didn't feel human anymore, so I didn't know what he was looking at.

Despite the fact that I refused to take my eyes off the front of the classroom, (refusing to give him the satisfaction or the pleasure of such an action), I could still see the tiniest of females pacing wildly outside the classroom door. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that it was one of the newest Cullen's, my old best friend Alice.

I had known that it would be a possibility to have the entire family back, though I had forgot to think about the pain it would cause me to see them all again. For some unknown reason I had been convincing myself over the past months that if they had returned home, I would be here waiting with open arms. Accepting them all back into my life as if they had never left. Forgive and forget, in its truest form. I had no idea it would hurt me so much to see them once again. I had no idea it would break me more than when they had first left.

It was hard not to return Alice's hopeful glances as she waited for class to end. I knew she wanted to tackle me in greeting; she was far too enthusiastic for her own good, though at this point I wanted nothing to do with her. It was hard not to turn to my left and look to Edward who still had his eyes fixated on me rather than the front of the classroom where they were supposed to be. Everything seemed to have gotten hard in the span of a single day. A single moment...

The bell rang, my eyes instantly pulling away from the front of the classroom to grab my still wet schoolbag from the spot on the floor where I had left it. I offered Mike a soft smile as he watched me, obviously still worried about the fall I had earlier. Jessica had her eyes on me as well, Mike obviously having run to her about everything. Or perhaps they were just interested in the potential gossip that came with the Cullen's return.

"Bella, can we tal-" I didn't give him the chance to finish his sentence, instead walking away from the biology table that we shared, on my way to where Mike and Jessica were packing up to go home.

"Hey... Walk with me?" I could tell from the look on Jessica's face that she was both surprised I was even talking to her, and slightly curious. She would use this opportunity to pull out as much information from me as possible, though I didn't care. Having humans around me meant that both Edward and Alice would have to remain normal, nonaggressive and civil. They wouldn't be able to throw me over their shoulders and race me back to the Cullen's house at vampire speed.

"Sure Bella." Jessica's voice was oddly sweet. Lately she'd been siding with Lauren, the same Lauren that obviously disliked me for some reason or another. I was pleasantly surprised to see Jessica at least put on a welcoming mask when around me rather than the bitter one Lauren wore in my presence.

"How's your head?" I glared at Mike for what seemed like the millionth time today.

"It's fine..." My words were nothing but a quiet mumble.

"Well that's good then, right? Why are you all wet? Jacob wasn't willing to give you a ride back in?" I could tell by the teasing smile he offered me that he thought he was joking.

"Actually, no. He wouldn't." Mike's smile fell. "He and I got into a bit of an argument, I walked back."

"You know you could have called one of us, Bella. I wouldn't have minded coming to pick you up." Jessica beamed a smile at me, one I had to return just to be polite. Her voice was far to chipper, it was obvious she was only playing nice with me to get something.

"I know. I liked the walk, needed the fresh air." Such a lie, I hated the outdoors, and I certainly hated the rain.

It had only taken a few moments for Jessica and Mike to gather their belongings and pack them safely into their schoolbags; though for some reason or another it was taking Edward much longer to do so. He had always been one of the first ready to leave, despite my tardiness. Of course he would wait for me, though it had never taken him longer than a few seconds to pack up. I knew he was waiting...

I was relieved when Mike lead both Jessica and I through the classroom and finally out the door. Alice had stopped pacing; instead she was standing directly to the left of the classroom door, practically bouncing on the tips of her toes. It was quite obvious that she was excited, though I wasn't sure why. Surely she had seen that I wouldn't want to talk to her, nor her brother.

"Bella!" I cringed upon hearing my old best friend shout my name as if we were still close. As if there was still something relatively alive between us. "I was going to call, but there was no reception once we were on the road, and oh! Gosh, I missed you!" Halfway through her ramblings she had thrown her arms around me in a tight, vicelike hug. My body tensed, my breathing ceased, and I waited for it to end. She must have surely felt my reaction to her touch, for she slowly pulled away apologetically, her face showcasing the hurt she was feeling from me doing so. "I-I forgot, I'm sorry..."

"Forgot?" Forgot what?! Forgot that she and her entire family had abandoned me? Forgot that I had lost not only the love of my life, but my best friend in the entire world? Forgot the unnecessary pain that she and her family had put me through by leaving?!

"I knew you'd react like this... I... I thought that if I came to see you like normal, maybe..."

"Maybe what? Maybe I'd forget about what you did? Maybe I'd put on a big, fake smile and pretend like everything was like normal?" I could tell my words were stinging the pixie-like girl, though I didn't care. They certainly hadn't cared when they were the ones hurting me.

By now, Edward had finally come out of the classroom and was standing by Alice. One arm wrapped comfortingly around the small girls' waist as his golden eyes looked down at me. I refused to look at him, instead allowing my glare to land on Alice. A few students were gathered around. For six months they had been waiting for such an altercation, why should we let them down?

"I thought maybe you wouldn't react so badly..." I scoffed at her words.

"React badly? Is that what I'm doing?" I shook my head in utter disbelief. How could Alice of all people be so naive? She must have been able to see what they had put me through, she must have known. "Well, I'm no expert. No one's ever really abandoned me before. So tell me, Alice... How should I react? You know, since you're the pro." I knew that was cutting below the belt. Alice's human life wasn't something anyone ever really brought up since it pained her to be unable to remember it.

"That's hardly fair, Bella." I shrugged at her words. There was no 'fair' between us. Not anymore.

"Nothing's fair, is it?"

"Maybe we should take this somewhere else, somewhere more private." I didn't let my eyes move from Alice as Edward chimed in. I didn't want to go anywhere with them.

"No, here's fine."

"Bella, Edward is right. The details that we need to discuss are details that should be kept between you and the family. I don't think you'd want everyone here knowing our business."

"Correction... YOU don't want anyone knowing your business. I just don't care anymore."

"Bella, I know you still care. Despite what we did, despite everything that you've been through, you still care. You're like my sister."

"No. I used to be."

A few more students had gathered around. I noticed Mike and Jessica still standing at my side, like a posse. I think that they were trying to look intimidating to both Edward and Alice, as if they were making sure they knew I was with them now.

There was a silence between my side and theirs, one that I didn't feel comfortable being a part of any longer. I pulled my eyes away from Alice only to glance up at Mike. He seemed to understand and like Edward had done to Alice, wrapped an arm around my waist, leading me away from the two. I didn't look back.


	4. You Still Come Knocking

Jessica had been kind enough to offer me a drive home even after I had refused Mike's countless offers. My truck was still at school in the same parking place I had left it that morning; I wasn't keen on leaving it there overnight just so I could have someone to question me about what had happened after class. Mike seemed rather upset that I still refused his small advances, especially after everything. Jessica was suspiciously polite, even stating that she would call me later that evening 'to talk'. I didn't bother commenting on that in hopes that she would forget.

Of course, she didn't. I had only been in the house for a few minutes when the phone started ringing. Our conversation lasted a solid hour and some odd minutes, though I refused to satisfy her need to know about my personal life with the Cullen's. I don't know why, but she seemed to think that tonight of all nights was the best time to question me and ask me all of the things that she had been dying to since they had left. I told her that even I wasn't sure about everything and that I knew just as much as everyone else. I didn't care that I was making the Cullen's out to be the bad guys in this situation. They certainly were to me.

I had quite the appetite that night, even choosing to sit downstairs in the living room with Charlie to eat supper he had ordered out while he watched the basketball game on the flat screen. Normally I would just skip on meals all together and go upstairs to my room for the night. I was sure he was surprised to see me both eating and spending some time downstairs. I was glad I could make him the slightest bit happy.

Homework, I had none. I had only been to one class that day, something my father would surely hear about and both question me and ground me for. I didn't care; my day was worth it in the end. I had gotten the chance to say some of the things to Alice that I had kept bottled up for some time. The time I normally dedicated to homework I decided to use to sleep. I was exhausted after falling, arguing with Jacob and walking all the way to school from La Push; my legs were still throbbing from the physical endurance.

I never bothered with pyjamas. My mother bought me a new pair of silk pyjama's for every holiday each year. I wasn't sure why, I never bothered wearing them. They would just sit in my underwear drawer until I went through my clothes and tossed out what I no longer wore. Instead, I pulled on a pair of gray shorts and a forest green tank top, along with a new pair of ankle socks. My feet were both sore and still freezing cold from the walk in the rain.

I was just about to climb into bed, into the warm comforts of my sea of blankets when I heard a noise at my window. A noise that was both familiar and frightening at the same time. I stared at my bed for a few long moments, wondering how easy it would be to ignore. I could just crawl into my bed and pretend like I hadn't heard anything at all. Perhaps he would take it as a hint and go away, let me get my sleep for the night. I had to force my eyes to stare at my blankets as I pondered what to do.

"Is there something wrong with your bed?"

I wasn't sure where the fury inside of me had come from, or why it had hit so fast. I wasn't sure if I was mad at myself for taking so long to just ignore him and crawl into bed; pretend I was sleeping, or if I was mad at him for breaking and entering. What ran through my mind wasn't registering. I was unable to concentrate on a single thought knowing he was standing in my bedroom. It wasn't the old, excited feeling I used to experience while being this close to him. It was something else... disgust.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you... Is everything okay?"

"No. Everything is not okay." How could he even ask that?

"Fair enough, I suppose."

I decided to climb into bed, something I should have done a few moments ago when it would have done me more good than it was doing now. The sheets were cold from lack of body contact, though they were beginning to grow warmer with each second I was between them. I didn't bother fluffing my pillows or any of that nonsense. I was never picky when it came to such things. I just flopped back and let my head hit the pillow like any other night.

"Alice is worried about you, you know."

"Good for her, I suppose." I was mocking him now, I knew that. I was sure he knew it, too.

"What happened to you, Bella?"

"What happened to 'it'll be as if I never existed'?" Those words still haunted me and cut me to the core.

There was a long silence between us, so I decided to use that opportunity to roll over so that my back was turned to him. I still hadn't directly made eye contact with him since he returned, I wasn't sure I'd be able to without feeling ill or breaking down into tears. That would certainly blow my tough facade.

"You're different." I rolled my eyes, though it went unnoticed. "You're thinner, paler. You're less... alive." Maybe I wasn't the only one who had noticed. "I thought I asked you to move on, Bella... I thought-"He sighed.

"Move on? I'm sorry if it's taking me longer than it's taken you. I don't have the distractions you claim to have had." I had memorized everything he had said during the conversation before he had left me. I was surprised that I was able to remember it now of all times, though.

"Bella... I needed to keep you safe. You have no idea the amount of frustration I felt towards myself for failing in doing so all the times before. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had James after you. You wouldn't have been hospitalized, hardly able to move. Everything ranging from broken scraped or bruised. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have been introduced to Jasper; he wouldn't have had the chance to lunge at you. If it wasn't for me, you-"

"I would have been dead," I reminded him. "The van would have crushed me. If by some off chance I managed to escape that unharmed, I would have been raped and murdered in Port Angeles. You can't keep me safe from everything."

"I've been trying to keep you safe from me."

"Well then I guess you've succeeded." I didn't have to be looking at him to know that the expression on his face was likely a pained one. I had all of his expressions memorized; the exact way is brow would furrow in frustration. The way his eyes would light up when he showcased my favourite crooked smile. The crinkle that hit the corners of his eyes when he laughed loudly, the way his right eyebrow would raise in question when I said something or reacted in a way he hadn't expected... I knew them all.

I heard a deep sigh as he closed my window, though I knew better than to expect him to leave without argument. He had never been one to back down, and u until recently he had never bothered doing things for my personal well being.

The left side of my bed tilted slightly with his added weight, though I kept my back turned to him. I didn't want him to see the traitor tears that had been escaping from the corners of my eyes. I hadn't realized how painful such familiar things like him in my room at night would be. I didn't want to alert him to my sudden rush of emotions, so I didn't bother to raise my hand to m face to wipe the tears away. Instead, I let them fall silently against my pillow.

"I was going to talk to you in biology, you know. I had an entire speech prepared," he chuckled softly to himself, as if admitting a foolish secret. "I never thought I'd be the type to practice words in front of a mirror. Glory of the first love, I suppose."

I cringed upon hearing that four letter word.

"You seemed distant... reluctant. You wouldn't even look at me. I clung onto things while I was gone, things like the way you would glance over at me during classes. The way your body would react to just being that close to mine... You wouldn't even look at me. I've never known such sadness; I've never experienced one quite like that. Even now, with your back turned to me... " He sighed.

I wasn't sure what he expected me to say, though I did understand what he was talking about. Six months ago the small distance between our two bodies as we both occupied by bed would be pure electricity bouncing off him and into me. Six months ago I would have given him anything, and now here I was practically unable to give him the time of day.

"I think it's best if you leave, Charlie's-"

"Sleeping. He fell asleep on the sofa in front of the television seconds after you came upstairs."

"I was going to say he's not your biggest fan right now. He'd have an aneurism if he found out you were here."

"He's never known before. You've never had a problem with me in your bedroom before which leads me to believe that you're not exactly comfortable with it. I should have known it would be too soon, I'm sorry."

I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. It was quite true, it was remarkably uncomfortable to have the guy that had broke my heart a half of a year ago sitting on the edge of my bed like old times, as if nothing had happened. On the other hand, I was too busy lost in my thoughts to open my mouth long enough to even try to answer.

My thoughts were overrun with so many questions, though none directed to him, his family or the time they had spent away from me. I was thinking about myself, as selfish as it sounded. I was thinking about what was wrong with me. All of the reactions I had to Edward's very presence not that long ago seemed forgotten. My body barely tingled. I wondered why at the end of a relationship, everything seemed lost. I wondered where the love went. Surely it didn't go onto the next relationship, for I knew there was no way I would ever love the next person in line as much as I had loved Edward. And so the question plagued my mind. At least the tears had stopped.

"Whatever you're thinking, whatever you want to say... I can handle it, Bella."

I found myself ignoring his words, though throwing the blankets off my body in a frustrated manor. It was quite pointless to be laying in bed with the hopes of soon falling asleep when I had him perched on the edge of my bed looking for a deep and meaningful conversation.

A cold touch sent a shiver through my spine. Not out of discomfort from the temperature change. It was as if a ghost had grabbed onto my arm rather than Edward, I guessed in some ways it was a ghost keeping me company.

"Your arms..."

I wasn't sure what he was referring to until I let my gaze move from his pale hand wrapped easily around my thin arm, to the deep bruise just above it. It was in the perfect form of a handprint on my upper arm, images of mine and Jacob's fight flashed through my mind, a simple smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"It's nice to know you find your inability to self preserve amusing." I could hear the anger in his voice, the familiarity of it only seeming to make my smile grow. "Who did this to you? Was it Charlie? Newton?"

My smile grew until it was impossible to expand in size, a small and fairly quiet laugh escaping my lips. The thought of either laying their hands on me was oddly humorous to me. Charlie was so tiny in comparison to any other man in Forks or any of the surrounding towns. Sure, he was tall, but he was so skinny. Plus, he was a cop and my father. He'd never intentionally hurt me. Newton, on the other hand, was too crazed about me to do be abusive. Plus, Newton knew I'd have no problem punching him in the face in return.

"Bella..."

"Jacob must not know his own strength. He's a werewolf, you know," I said in a matter-of-fact tone. I physically noticed Edward's body tense at the mention of Jacob being such a creature and instantly realized he must have been more up-to-date on the theories and old stories than I was. Then again, it was likely him accompanying Carlisle when the treaty was made so many years ago. How easily I'd forgotten.

"And yet you still grace him with your presence?" his voice was livid. "I knew you were uncoordinated and a magnet for danger, but I didn't know you had a death wish. A suicide wish, at that." His pale hands were balled into tight fists on his lap, his golden eyes that darkened by the second the second were focused on nothing in particular. They seemed to be staring right through my bedroom wall.

"He's quite in control of himself. Paul, on the other hand..." I cringed upon remembering his sour temper towards the others.

"All of them?" His eyes shot to mine and I physically winced. Not because I was scared of Edward, not in the slightest. But because it literally hurt me from the inside out to look at him as if things were okay.

"Uh..." I tore my eyes away, taking a few minutes to breathe deeply. I always needed a few moments when thinking about him or the rest of his family, enough time to mentally sew the hole he had left. "Embry, Jared, Paul. Quil and Sam... Jacob..." I couldn't locate my train of thought as I trailed off. "Leah too, she's the only female," I mused. I still found it interesting that only one female existed in their group.

"And they just let you in on this rather surprising turn of events?"

"I guessed it. They can't physically tell someone about their secret, their oath to the pack prevents them. I remembered all of the old stories, witnessed Jacob and his friends acting strange... referring to themselves as their tribes 'protectors' and I guess it all just clicked."

"And this gave him reason to put his hands on you?"

I glanced down, oddly aware of the fact that his cold hand was still gripping my arm in the gentlest of ways.

"He didn't mean to, I don't think. It all happened so fast that I don't think he fully comprehends the strength he has just yet. Doesn't hurt, anyways..."

"Only you would attract monsters, Bella." That comment hit close to home.

"I think you should probably go," I mumbled. My voice was beginning to betray me just as my own tears had a few minutes ago. I was slowly beginning to realize that Edward still had a major hold of me, though it wasn't the amazingly blissful hold he once held.

"I don't mind staying if you wanted, we could talk..."

"You left," my voice cracked.

"For your own personal protection," he interrupted to remind me. "Something I see was a mistake. No matter how many miles that I put between us, you will still attract some type of danger or another. If it isn't vampires, it's werewolves. If it's not a van looking to end your life, it's some crazed murderer. I think I realize now more than ever that you need me here to keep you alive, Bella. Something I had been completely blind to. You can call it an epiphany if you wish."

"I don't need a bodyguard anymore, Edward. There's no more danger here... Even if there was, I'm sure Jacob would be more than able to-"

"They're amateurs," he interrupted me yet again to correct. "Teenagers thinking they're superhero's."

"Are you jealous that you're not the only superhero in town anymore?"

He scoffed at my words. "I'm not a superhero, Bella. I never claimed to be."

"So the god complex you unknowingly possess is something that you've picked up over the past few decades then?"

I could tell that my tone was striking a nerve. His eyes narrowed and glared into mine proving that there would be no resolution tonight, nor would there be room for anymore apologies. He was convinced what he had done to me was in my best interest. I was more than convinced that what he done and forever ruined me.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

I was already out of bed before he had a chance to stand to his feet, grabbing my raincoat and a pair of socks. It took me only a few seconds to put both articles of clothing on, though his solid grip on both of my wrists stopped me from reaching for the door.

"I'm going to Jacob's."

"I'm not letting you."

"It's not your choice anymore; it's not your job to protect me, Edward."

"You don't think I won't just go down to your truck before you reach the stairs and start pulling parts out from under the hood?"

"I'll walk." I pulled my hands free of his grasp and barged out of my bedroom door louder than I had intended. I wasn't aware I was quite this angry.

The commotion of me bounding down the stairs must have woke Charlie up, for the moment I pulled on my rubber rain boots he was peeking around the corner from the spot on the sofa that he had fallen asleep on.

"It's awful late to be going out, Bells."

"Jake just called; he wants me to take a run over for a second. He's going to meet me halfway."

"I didn't hear the phone ring... Is something wrong with your truck?"

"Oh, no. I just don't want to waste gas. We both decided we could use the fresh air. He called my cell."

"Do you need me to pick you up?"

"Jake's going to drive me home, bye dad."

I was out the door quicker than lightening, not wanting Charlie to question be further. I had my fingers crossed that he wouldn't decide to call Jacob to make sure that's where I was really going or to validate my story about my truck being fine. Jacob had no idea I was on my way. We hadn't spoken since our fight earlier today.

The sky was a deep blue, almost navy indicating the end of yet another day. A few select stars that were bright enough to shine through the thick clouds were noticeable, which was rather odd for Forks. Despite that beauty, it still rained, hard.

"Don't be so foolish, Bella."

"Go away, Edward."

I was walking as fast as I could, my eyes locked on the ground to keep from tumbling. The last thing that I needed was to be embarrassed by taking a fall in front of him while trying to keep up a tough exterior. He kept up easily, no surprise there. It would always be impossible for me to outrun him.

"I have absolutely no qualms with throwing you over my shoulder and taking you right back home."

"Right, because that won't make him the slightest bit suspicious after I just told him where I was going."

"I'll throw you over my shoulder and take you back to my house."

"I'll scream."

He was standing in front of me so quickly that he had caused my body to collide with his. I tried to move past him, tried to walk around him though he seen my attempt before I pulled it off and blocked me. I tried to move in the other direction, another block. I glared up at him only to see his onyx eyes glaring right back down at me. I knew then that there was no way I was getting to Jacob's house tonight.

In one swift movement, Edward placed his hands around my waist and hoisted me up over his shoulder with more force than was needed, for the moment my chest collided with his hard back, the air was knocked out of my lungs. This effectively prevented me from screaming, he'd obviously thought this through to perfection.

My arms dangled lifelessly down his back, my legs hanging over his chest as he flew us through the forest. I was barely sure how to get to his house using the actual roads let alone random patches of woods.

I knew better than to have my eyes opened, especially with my face pointed at the ground. During the seldom times in the past that Edward had chosen this type of transportation I had learned the hard way that movements as quick as this easily made me nauseous. I likened it to sticking my head out of a moving jet plane. The air moving past my ears at top speed, the scenery moving so quickly it dizzied my eyes and churned my stomach. Yes, keeping my eyes closed was a must.

Perhaps that's why I was so shocked when he had set me down on my feet, I hadn't been keeping an eye on how fast we had been going. How easily I had forgotten just how fast he could move.

I slapped his hands away that moved to fix my wild hair, taking the time to adjust it myself. I was too furious with him to let him anywhere near me, let alone touch me. Too livid to look up into his beautiful eyes in hopes he'd melt my anger away so instead I stormed across the vast first floor of his amazingly massive house and made my way towards the spiralling staircase on the far left of the room.

I wasn't sure if the other Cullen's were in Forks let alone in the same house Edward had brought me back to, though I didn't care. He had brought me here specifically for one reason or another, though I was in no mood to find out why. I understood that he didn't want me around Jacob, though I didn't agree but there were so many other places he could have brought me. Why here?

That's when two sets of golden eyes met mine, and I understood.


	5. We're Back!

My mind instantly flashed back to the tantrum I had thrown when the Cullen's had first left. Poor Charlie was nowhere near prepared for the explosion that I had unleashed upon hearing him tell me he wanted me to move to Jacksonville with my mother for the time being. I remembered the catatonic state I had been in dissolving with each word he spoke, a fury replacing it so quickly that it caught even me off guard.

I remembered following my father upstairs to my bedroom where he had spent a good portion of the day carefully packing my clothing so that I wouldn't be burdened with it. I had spent the day in school, unable to protest against in doing so.

I remembered pulling out handfuls upon handfuls of clothing, tossing them with such hatred across my bedroom. I could still hear myself screaming at Charlie as he called my name, trying to talk me into calming myself down. My shrieks didn't allow room for him to get a word in at all. By the time I had run out of clothing in the duffle bags to toss around my bedroom, I had begun throwing pillows, blankets, and CD cases... anything that I could get my hands on, without actually realizing it. I was too furious, too broken. I didn't want to be abandoned twice.

Charlie had never had to use his police training much in Forks. He had never even shot his gun on the job after all of these years as both a police officer and the Chief of police. I seen him out of my peripheral vision, moving at a speed I had never seen Charlie use. His arms locked around my waist from behind, his arms showcasing muscles I had never realized he kept hidden under his old flannel, button-up t-shirts. He lifted my feet off the floor, only to struggle to keep me from falling for I was flailing as violently as possible. Kicking my legs wildly, pulling at his arms in attempt to gain freedom, screaming...

I felt like throwing the exact sort of tantrum for the second time in my life upon seeing them.

"Wow Bella, you look like you were swallowed then spit out by a tornado," Emmett practically laughed through each word. I glared. "Not used to our speed, huh?"

I watched as Alice placed her tiny hand on Emmett's massive upper arm in warning, trying to calm his words down. Alice of all people would know how difficult it was for me to see members of the Cullen's acting as if nothing had happened. I was remotely thankful that they were the only two here aside from Edward.

"Esme and Rosalie have gone to town," Alice spoke to Edward with her perfectly soft voice.

"Yes, I suppose that's in our best interest," Edward's voice was nothing but a hushed mumble. I could tell he was only responding to Alice's statement to be polite. "Best get the word out now rather than more rumours."

"So, Bella..." I could tell Emmett was reluctant to talk to me after such a reaction from Alice, though he still couldn't contain himself. Apart from Alice, he was the liveliest in the family and one of the closest to me. "Uh, how have things been? Do I merit a hug?" He stretched his massive arms out to me innocently, Alice held her breath.

I stared in disbelief at the casual action Emmett was displaying before moving my gaze to his eyes. I could tell he was being sincere, though it didn't make the situation anymore okay. Before I could put a valid reason behind my own actions, I was physically pushing Emmett away. My hands flat against his chest, pushing with such a force I was surprised my wrists weren't snapping. Emmett, of course, didn't budge an inch, though he took the message and let his arms fall to his sides in defeat.

"Bella..." Alice's voice tried to sooth me though to no avail. "We thought it would be best if it were us here rather than the entire family. We figured you might be more comfortable..."

"Comfortable!?" I was still pushing wildly against Emmett's chest. "I'd be more comfortable with Jacob's wolf friends," my words were easing down into angry mumbles.

I heard Emmett's husky laugh, his large hands wrapping around my fragile wrists long enough to remove them from his chest. I raised my hand to strike him, though his own shot up at lightning speed to block the incoming blow. His other hand reaching up to block my second attempt with my own spare hand, encasing my hands in his above my head.

"Jacob's a wolf, huh? I knew that kid smelled bad for a reason. Didn't I tell you, Alice!?" Alice nodded to humour Emmett. "What are we going to do about that?"

"I don't know, the whole pack has let Bella in on their secret. She finds it... reasonable to run to them. That's why I thought it best to bring her here."

"That's reasonable," Alice chimed in.

"Reasonable?" I inquired.

"Alice, for some reason or another, can't see the wolves in her visions. I suppose that's one of the many reasons we've returned to Forks," Edward chose his words carefully. "Despite my... encouragement for her to try and keep you out of her range of visions..." Edward glared towards his sister.

"We snuck back," Alice wore a massive smile on her face as she spoke. She didn't look sorry in the slightest. "I know, I promised you we'd stay away from her Edward but really! Abandon my best friend? You say it took you two lives to find her, well it took me just as long as well."

"Alice was the mastermind behind the plan," Emmett smirked to his youngest sibling, raising his large hand for one of Alice's dainty high fives. "She would tell me where you were based on her visions, and I'd tail you."

"You followed me?!"

"Don't sound so appalled! We just wanted to make sure you were staying out of trouble. We all know the chance of you tripping on a pebble and falling out in front of a car is quite large... Alice was feeling nostalgic, she wanted to check up on you, make sure you were doing alright."

"I wanted you back in my life, Bella," Alice's voice sounded small, thick with apology. "Emmett did too. Esme and Carlisle were left out of it for their sanities sake. Rosalie and Jasper naturally sided with Edward, they thought it was also in your best interest if we kept to Edward's promise and stayed away, but I just couldn't leave you. Not like that."

"So she plotted," Emmett smirked. "She would tell me where you were and I'd track you down, I'd watch you. Report back to her. She had I are the two out of the family that find hiding our thoughts from Edward isn't all that hard."

"Of course, Rosalie sold us out," Alice added. "Emmett mentioned to her your new need for extreme sports and she made it into a tall tale."

"Silly woman made it seem like you were suicidal. Ran and told Edward you'd been seeking someone else to end your life for you since you promised him you wouldn't do it yourself. Gotta say, clever plan should it have been true, Bella," Emmett chuckled. I glanced at the floor, busted.

"It's true?!" Edward's thunderous voice rang through the entire house, the yard... the woods. I was sure the entire town of Forks had heard.

"No! Of course not!" I ran my hands through my hair, trying to pull it away from my face while I gathered my excuses.

After making that promise to Edward, that I wouldn't do anything reckless, I had instantly regretted agreeing to such a thing. I remembered lying on top of him while watching Romeo and Juliet on my eighteenth birthday, listening to him tell me how he would find some way to end his life should I manage to somehow die. It wasn't fair that he was allowed to sink as low as suicide in my absence, but I wasn't graced with such a privilege.

For a while I had convinced myself that I needed to stay alive for both Charlie and Renée, though I soon began finding reasons why my death would make life easier for them.

Renée was always with Phil, it had always been that way since she had met him. At first she would stay home with me while Phil traveled in hopes of being signed to a baseball team. I could see that it made her sad, so I had exiled myself to Forks.

When I was in the hospital after my encounter with James, my mother had told me she was looking forward to bringing me back to Jacksonville and that she would spend half the time with me and half with Phil. I had easily convinced myself after the Cullen's left that she had this planned out because she didn't want to spend any more time with me than necessary.

Charlie was much easier to work with. He knew how vitally I had changed. He knew that I only responded when spoken to. I never smiled, I never moved more than necessary, he knew it all. If I wasn't around, he'd be able to move on.

With those thoughts in mind, I made myself a promise. I would keep the promise I had made to Edward, though I would find another way to go, another way to die.

The activities I partook in weren't things I would normally find interesting. Jacob and I had rebuilt two motorcycles I had stumbled upon, accidents waiting to happen. I think he believed my excitement was because I'd be able to spend time with him rather than the bikes themselves. I felt bad that I lead him on like that.

I was quite upset when my motorcycle accident didn't kill me, simply cutting my head a bit. I realized it would be hard to explain all of my injuries to Charlie, so I decided to keep things to a minimum, instead allowing myself to fall freely instead of catching my balance. Driving without snow chains in hopes I'd hit a patch of ice, casual things that could surely land me dead. I was still keeping my promise, after all. No one would think twice if I died in a car accident with ice on the roads. Sadly, something was keeping me alive on those days...

Edward's eyes narrowed as I scrambled for the proper words to say, though I had nothing. The three of us could see the fury escalating through his body language, his hands clamped into tight fists once again.

"You promised-"

"That I wouldn't kill myself," I reminded him, adding in a mumble, "not that I wouldn't die in a car accident."

"Unbelievable," Edward mumbled, clearly too angry for words. "I leave you with one request-"

"A request I honoured."

"A request you forged a loophole in just to spite me, Bella."

"If I wanted to spite you, I'd have off'd myself the moment you left."

"Damn it, Bella!" Edward practically roared. Alice and I both winced at the force of his voice. "Don't you know that would have killed me? That losing you would have been the effective end of my own existence?"

"Just like your leaving was the end of mine, I suppose..." I let my words trail off, growing too exhausted from arguing. Today had been a long day, after all.

Edward sighed, infuriated. "Unbelievable..."

The silence that lingered between the four of us was almost tangible. I had run out of responses to Edward's shouting. Emmett seemed far too scared of my reactions to bother scooping me up in a hug, and Alice was monitoring the future, in case she had to act as a referee. It was likely she could see me throwing punches in the near future, I sure felt like I was close to it, not that it would do me much good.

"I hate to break the silence," Alice offered a small smile to the three of us as our eyes landed on her tiny face. "But we've returned now, Bella. Perhaps we should take tonight to resolve our issues, doesn't that seem like a positive way to get through this?"

Alice's words were quite persuasive and honest. I truly believed my old best friend wanted nothing more than to make amends for the wrongs she had made, though I wasn't sure if I was ready to put everything behind me.

"Alice," I sighed deeply. "You guys just don't get it... You can't waltz back into my life like nothing's happened. I died!"

"Bella, that's quite the exaggeration," Edward interrupted, only fuelling my simmering anger.

"No, what I've been through was worse than death. How can you tell me you love me all the thousands of times, and take it back? How could you lead me on like that, welcome me into your family, protect me like I was worth something only to cast me out like nothing."

"Bella," he tried to interrupt again, his voice full of sorrow now.

"No! You're going to listen to me!" I had no idea where the strength I felt was coming from, though I wasn't about to question it in fear it would fade. "You were my everything! You were my best friend! My boyfriend, my family and you took it all away from me! I gave up my human friends, I gave up my home in Jacksonville to be with you, and guess what? No one was waiting for me when you up and left! I had no one!" My tears were falling freely now, a horrible habit that happened when I was angry.

Apparently I was getting too worked up, too close to Edward, for Alice had placed herself between us in hopes that I wouldn't start swinging again. I knew she didn't blame me, Alice of all people knew exactly what I was experiencing. She'd seen my future without Edward; I guessed that was another reason why they had come back.

"No, Alice... Let her hit me if that's what she wants to do."

I glared up at him, shaking my head in disbelief. "What good would that do me? I'd only have another broken bone to add to my already extensive medical history."

I was wiping the tears from my cheeks with the material of my t-shirt that covered my shoulders, letting out a large breath in efforts to calm myself. I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard Emmett chuckling low enough to hide from me.

"Bella's right, Edward," Alice glanced up at him as she spoke. "I think it's best if we keep this as civil as possible, especially with Esme returning within the hour. She'd be so worked up if fists started flying..."

Despite my intense hatred for the entire Cullen family, my heart throbbed at the mention of Esme's name. I wasn't sure why, but I didn't seem to be angry with her, not in the slightest. I felt as if Esme was completely innocent in this entire situation, mainly because I felt like I had become so close with her. She had lost her own biological child many years ago, and instead opted for raising the five she was graced with in this life. I remembered Edward mentioning that Esme practically 'choked with satisfaction every time he touched me', so to think that she willingly left me behind was ludicrous.

"Civil," Edward agreed before glancing back to me.

"I have nothing else to say," I shrugged my shoulders as I spoke.

"I have something to say, if you don't mind," he stated rather than asked. "I'd like to say that I lied."

Both Alice and Emmett wore looks on their faces that wished he hadn't of stated such a thing, though I knew I looked confused.

"Lied?"

"Yes Bella, I lied. I lied about everything. I lied about wanting to leave you; I lied about getting over you, about distractions that would keep me occupied, that would help me forget about you, but most importantly, I lied about not loving you. I do love you, more than anything or anyone in this existence, in the previous existence or the next existence. I have always loved you, a concept I never knew existed. I will always love you, a concept I can't describe without smiling. Though I left, it was only a matter of time before I gave in and began running back into your hopefully waiting arms. Begging you to take me back, something I'd be more than happy to do, if you wanted."

Everything clicked. The reasons why I no longer tingled when he sat or stood close to me, my anger, the traitor tears that no matter what I was feeling or saying, spilled down my cheeks. All of these things were happening because I had been thinking since seeing Edward in biology, that he no longer loved me. Hearing that it was all a lie, that he did in fact love me brought it all rushing back. My body tingled from the tips of my toes all the way to the top of my head, causing me to wobble slightly on my feet. My entire body – though slightly wet from the run to his house in the rain instantly felt warm. There must have been a more physical change in me, for Alice smiled warmly at me, as if welcoming me back.

Emmett was snickering madly behind me, his hands on my waist in case I started wobbling again. Even Edward – who was trying to look impossibly serious – had the tiniest of smiles on his perfect face. They had always found my very human reactions and my inability to stand without stumbling oddly and horribly humorous.

"I'm still horribly angry with you," I wasn't sure what else to say.

"I know you are," Edward replied. Almost as if he'd been expecting my anger to fade from the moment he brought me here.

"At you guys, too," I added, pointing accusingly at Alice and Emmett.

"You'll forgive us in time, Bella. We all know you can't stay mad at this face." Emmett smirked down at me, winking playfully. I cringed, shaking my head. "Too soon?"

I nodded.

"She's dead on her feet, Edward. Why don't you let me take her upstairs, show her where her things are?" I heard Alice talking to Edward while Emmett tried to break the thick ice between us.

I couldn't help but eavesdrop upon knowing that they were talking about me. Staying here for the night was completely out of the question! Charlie likely hadn't heard the rumours that he was back just yet, and when he did would likely have a stroke. He was still under the illusion – like everyone else – that the Cullen's were completely in the wrong for packing up so quickly and leaving.

Charlie had once been grateful to Carlisle for saving my life while in Phoenix last year. He had practically worshipped the doctor, though blamed Edward wholeheartedly for driving me away. At least that's the story we had stuck to. If my father learned that after breaking my heart, Edward and his family were all back in town, I'd be on lockdown until I was eighty.

"Charlie won't agree to this. You must have seen that by now, Alice," My voice was small; I was too exhausted to be angry though I wanted to be.

"Which is why you're not going to tell him that you're staying here," Edward glanced down at me as he spoke, while passing me his silver cell phone, the same one that he had always had. How stupid I felt for never trying to contact it. "You're going to call him." The phone was already ringing.

I grabbed it in a hurry, thankful that Charlie had not picked up yet. My eyes were wide with horror; Edward should know better than anyone how horrible I was at lying. I couldn't even convince myself half of the time.

The look of panic must have evolved into something beyond it, for Edward's hard eyes seemed to be melting, trying to dazzle me into a tranquil state. I had to admit that it was working, despite my attempt to look away and ignore it. I couldn't afford such a distraction right now of all times.

"Bella, Hello? Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me, dad." I still had no idea what to say.

"Is everything alright? You're not at Jacob's yet, are you?"

I paused, my eyes still on Edward's though they tore from my gaze to look to Alice. The tiny pixie was holding a piece of paper with words scribbled hurriedly across it. I had to squint my eyes in an effort to read it from where I stood, the girl clearly forgetting I was only human. I didn't have superhuman eyesight.

"Uh... Everything is fine," I said each word slowly, carefully while trying to read the next. "I'm at Jacob's. He picked me up because it was raining." There were no more words on the page, Alice was writing on the back of the piece of paper.

"Okay, did you need something then, or..."

I paused, sighing in relief when Alice turned the piece of paper over for me to read my next lines. "His engine flooded from the rain before we made it to his place. He can't take a look at it 'til morning so we're crashing at... Sam's" I glared at Alice.

"Sam? Uley?" Charlie sounded just as shocked as I did.

"Uh...yeah," I found myself talking slowly, waiting for my next lines. They didn't take long to appear before me, though were equally hard to read. "Tomorrow we are going....hiking." I sighed. "We're camping for the... weekend?" I could hear the anger in my voice increasing. "We'll be back Sunday night."

"Well that sounds like fun, Bells. Good to see you're getting out. Do you need me to run anything over, clothes or blankets?"

Alice must have been able to hear every word that Charlie was saying over the phone, for she was writing exact responses for me, knowing exactly what to say. Her visions showing her his reactions to whatever words she was going to use until she found ones that convinced him enough not to investigate further.

"No, I had a bag of clothes in my truck that I left at Jacob's last week. I'll just use those."

"Well, okay then. You have fun and be safe, Bella."

"I will. Bye." I hung up quickly.

Alice was beaming a smile, clearly proud of herself. Edward wore no expression on his face, his lips pressed into a tight line while Emmett cocked his head to the side in amusement, obviously anticipating some sort of hilarious reaction from me.

"Don't worry, Bella. Charlie won't be able to get a hold of Billy until at least Tuesday. He's gone on a fishing trip with one of his buddies from down on the reserve; Edward heard his thoughts when he was in town today. We will have to get a hold of Jacob, though. Ask him to cover for you in case Charlie decides to get a hold of him..."

"He won't do that," I mumbled, remembering our earlier encounter. "We had a fight."

"And that's where the bruises came from," Edward stated, rather than questioned.

I glared.

"Why do I have to stay here, anyway? I'm perfectly safe in my own home, you know."

"You had an encounter with Laurent that you failed to bring up," Edward's eyes were on mine, almost accusing me.

"The wolves were there... I thought you said Alice couldn't see them." I glanced to Alice, though she shook her head indicating she wasn't the one that passed that piece of information on to her brother.

"Victoria was close by, she knew Laurent's intent. She fled the scene when the wolves started appearing. We were tracking her, I read her thoughts."

I felt an immediate shiver run through my entire body at the mention for Victoria's name. She was still alive, which meant my life was still in danger, though I didn't think she had a reason to come after me personally. Perhaps after seeing that my wolf friends killed her last coven member after my vampire friends massacred her mate... She'd have reason enough.

"She's coming after me." It wasn't a question.


	6. Victoria

The house was exactly as I remembered it, as if they hadn't left at all. The furniture was in the exact places that they had been, the walls and floors equally as clean as the first day that I had been invited here by Edward to meet his family. It was bizarre that only a few short weeks ago I had come to this very house in search of the hallucinations I had been experiencing. I wasn't sure if they were triggered by pure adrenaline or danger, or familiar memories.

Of course, now I knew that it was purely the danger that put my angel's voice back into my mind. Going back to the empty house that they had once occupied did not grace me with his perfect voice. Instead, it tore at the hole in my chest until I throbbed from the inside out in immense pain. It sent me back into the same depression I had been trying to escape in Jacob's company and thrust my mind back into the same terrible nightmares I had hoped would die.

"Here's your room," Alice's calm voice broke through my train of thought. "It's not too far from mine, but far enough to give you some peace and quiet."

I wasn't paying any attention at all to Alice; instead I allowed my eyes to scan over the room less than thoroughly. It looked like every other room in their oversized house, the only difference being that in this one there was a bed meant for a human.

"I don't expect you to come downstairs to spend time with us, but if you want, you're always wel-" I shut the door on her, effectively barricading myself in the room before she could finish. "...come."

I knew that I should have felt bad for being so rude to Alice. Six months ago she would have been the first person I'd have invited into my new room at the Cullen's house. Now I could barely stand her presence on the other side of the door.

The room was exquisite... at least to anyone that wasn't me. I found that there was no longer any beauty in the world, let alone in a bedroom belonging to a mansion. I'd been left in the dark for too long, a star that burnt out after being pushed out of its bright galaxy. I was all used up now, letting off small sparks of life every once in a while for Charlie, but other than that I served no more purpose.

I let my eyes wander around the large space, noticing many similarities in the room they offered me for the time being and the room that Edward claimed as his own room. Both had magnificent gold fabrics draping off the wall adjacent from the massive glass wall. It reminded me of a room belonging to a palace. A princess... I wasn't a princess.

Though there was a bed (with matching gold bedding) in the center of the room, it didn't hide the similar black leather sofa that I remembered occupying Edward's room. I cringed at the memories that came flooding back. The most painful one that plagued my mind was when he had tackled me playfully to the same sofa, not caring that Alice and Jasper had joined us in his bedroom. The three of them teasing me on how good they theorized I would taste.

My arms instinctively wrapped around my torso in an effort to hold the pieces together. I couldn't risk falling apart here of all places, I'd have too many to answer to.

In an attempt to take my mind off the throbbing pain in my chest that seemed t be threatening to rip me open, my eyes fell on a neat pile of my own clothing. My white cell phone sat on top of the pile, calling to me. I dashed for it instantly, not caring whether or not this was some sort of trap. Alice said she was unable to see the wolves, so she must not know what I had planned.

Jacob picked up on the third ring, his voice cracking with exhaustion. Ever since he had found out that he (along with the rest of his friends down on the reserve) were werewolves, they had been growing ever so rapidly and needed a ton of food as well as countless hours of sleep to keep themselves stable. I felt instantly bad for waking him, though I needed him – mid-fight or not.

"Jake?" My voice was a silent whisper. I had vampires eavesdropping, after all.

"Bella? Is everything okay?"

I could tell that he was still irritated with me. It dripped from his equally quiet voice with each word that he spoke. I didn't care, as selfish as it sounded. I needed him right now, and I knew he was the only person in the world that wouldn't let me down at this point.

"No... They took me back to their house. You remember where it is, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm glad to hear that you put aside all of the things that those leeches said and did to you, but I'm not going to be joining any sort of welcome home party. Bye, Bella."

"Jake, wait!" I hissed into my phone. "It's not like that! They brought me back here, against my will. At first I wasn't sure why, but now they're indicating it's because Victoria-" I shuddered just mentioning her name. "-she's after me, Jake."

"Put one of the bloodsuckers on, Bella. I need to know all of the facts if you want us out patrolling."

"I'm not putting anyone on, I need you to come get me."

"Why? You're perfectly safe there."

I sighed deeply. I knew Jacob was going to be difficult, though I didn't think it was going to be this hard to convince him to hop in his Volkswagen and rescue me.

"You know what, forget it. Thanks for all of your help." I knew my voice was dripping with sarcasm as I hung up the phone, instantly hitting 'ignore' when he tried to call back. I was getting so used to people running away from me that it really shouldn't have shocked me when he did.

I cracked the door open enough to poke my head out and scan the hallways thoroughly. There was no sign of any unwanted ears, which made my escape plan all the more easy. Of course, I had to force myself to decide to run to Jacob's house to keep Alice's visions off of me, though I would change my mind once I was far enough away from the house to have a decent head start.

Closing the door tightly, I didn't bother to put any furniture up against it. What purpose would that serve when the inhabitants keeping me here could bust their way through it without so much as blinking. Instead, I made my way silently to the window, wincing at the fall I would have to endure. The room they had graced me with was on the third and final story of their massive home. Obviously they knew I would try to escape and assumed I wouldn't leap out of the window if I was up this high. They clearly underestimated me.

The window opened easily wide enough for me to fit my small body through. I was relieved to find that there was a big enough ledge for me to stand on. I needed a few moments to locate the best place to land. To think about the best position to land in, and most importantly, to gather the courage to actually jump.

I decided I was going to die no matter where or how I landed. I would break my back, snap my neck, or land on something that would effectively end my life, so instead I started plotting plan B.

Plan B wasn't as difficult to manoeuvre as the previous plan was. I found that if I sat on the ledge and eased myself down, then I could reach the second story roof that jutted out as a shelter for the front porch. Jumping from there was much easier. I even landed on my feet before stumbling and falling onto the wet grass, though I would take soggy pyjamas over shattered bones any day.

I knew from experience that vampires could see at least one hundred yards beyond the human's sight range, which meant that walking in the woods close to the long, winding driveway was not going to be a part of my plan. Esme and Rosalie were back from town, and I couldn't risk being caught escaping the house. My only option was to force myself deep enough into the woods that I wouldn't be spotted by anyone coming or leaving the Cullen's house, though close enough that should I need help, i could easily find my way to the drive way or at least the nearest road.

I ignored the sting of the rain against my arms and face, the squishing of the mud beneath my feet and the whipping of thin branches from trees that seemed to be eager to tear at me as I made my way through the thick woods. Another thing I was ignoring was the constant vibrating of my cell phone that I held tightly in my right hand. I was too concentrated on not tumbling and injuring myself to bother answering whoever was calling me.

I had always hated the woods – no matter the time of day, though running around in it in the middle of the night was not something I was fond of in the slightest. Animals scurried around all around me, making noises that made me feel quite unsettled. I missed the days when I didn't have anything to fear in the dark.

Just thinking of the red haired vampire was enough to put me into a blind panic. The trees around me swayed in the wind, potentially hiding my personal hunter. The sky was clouded over, as if it were meant for me to be unable to see any danger around me. Fallen branches hidden my dead leaves were trying to lung out to trip me with each step I took, as crazy as it seemed.

The panic that had set in was confusing me. My surroundings were mixed up. I wasn't sure which way I had come from, which way I was supposed to be going. Each time I turned around, I was sure I was seeing flashes of wild orange hair, darting around me in circles. Closer and closer... like a shark closing in on its next meal.

I refused to stay in one place and allow the danger to close in around me. My body lunged forward; unaware of what direction I was headed in. For all I knew I was headed back to the Cullen's house, or worse... further into the never-ending forest.

I tripped – a lot – while trying to gain distance between myself and what I thought I had seen around me. My hands were scraped and filthy, stained with fresh mud and debris from the ground. The knees of my sweat pants were covered in dark grass stains and torn in various places. Blood from scrapes along my knees seemed to be seeping through the dirt that covered them.

A break in the thick trees caught my attention, my body working harder, faster to get to it. I knew instantly that it was granting me access to the highway; I could hear a few cars passing along nosily, though I hadn't expected it to be as close as it was. My feet skidded to a stop in front of the large ditch directly before the highway though I slid into the mud and tumbled down into the trench.

My hands covered my head as my body rolled down the steep hill, though it didn't prevent my body from battering itself against countless rocks along the way, nor did it stop my forehead from colliding with one, effectively stopping me. The momentum behind the contact with said rock caused me to hit it with a sickening crunch. I tried to move, I tried to scream for help, but no sound came. No movement allowed me to get up. Hadn't anyone seem me running towards the high way? Hadn't anyone seen me fall?

I groaned softly to myself, my body rolling over so that I was laying flat on my back. For the briefest of moments I was sure I had seen the very fiery hair that had me running in a panic. That was more than enough encouragement to have me rolling back onto my stomach.

My hands shot out from under me, clawing at the hill before me that would grant me access to the mildly busy high way. It took so much effort to pull myself up it slowly, that I was certain I wouldn't be able to flag a car down. Each time my hands gripped down on the grass, my fingers seemed to go right through it, squeezing nothing but mud. Nothing solid.

It took me quite a bit of time before I was able to reach out and physically feel the pavement of the road. A sigh of relief letting itself escape my bloodied lips. A sigh that quickly turned into a gasp as something – or someone – grabbed my left ankle, dragging me back.

My hands gripped pointlessly at the mud, trying to pull myself forward, trying to tear myself away from whatever force was pulling me back into the dark forest, though to no avail. I could feel a scream bubbling in my throat, eager to escape. My body struggled against the hand, writhing against the mud as I was pulled further and further away from my sanctuary.

I was going to die. I told myself this over and over... I had heard what Laurent said; that Victoria had plans for me... she was going to torture me until there was nothing left but death. I let my body go limp with this realization. Perhaps if I stored m energy, I'd have enough to at least visualize the painful memories that I tried so hard to repress. I could remember Edward, and the times we shared. Back when we were happy. It was then that I decided Victoria could break me in as many ways as she felt necessary, but she wouldn't break my memories. She wouldn't take those from me.

Just as my hands released the mud that they had been so desperately trying to grasp, another hand – much warmer than the other was around my wrist, yanking me up the hill violently. I winced against the strength; I winced through the pain, squeezing my eyes shut tightly, even after I felt the pavement beneath my back.

"Bella? Christ, Bella! Bella, can you hear me?" I opened one eye in disbelief, staring up at the worried face of Jacob. "Are you alive?"

"Yes," I croaked. My voice sounded like it was thoroughly abused my some sort of infection. It was shaky and uncertain.

"You don't look it... What were you thinking?! You know I'd have come and picked you up! Why didn't you wait for me?"

"You were angry with me."

"Yeah, I was, but didn't you know I'd have done anything to piss those bloodsuckers off? Even if it meant breaking into their house and kidnapping you right back?"

I stared up at Jacob in disbelief while he smirked down at me playfully. I could tell I was forgiven for our fight earlier that day. I could also tell that he was trying to ease the tension in our conversation with jokes. These jokes were probably the truth.

"I guess I should have answered my phone..."

"I guess you should have."

I rolled my eyes, squeezing my fingers together upon realizing that I had lost my phone somewhere, though that thought was long gone upon feeling the burning pain surging up my right arm. Jacob must have noticed something was wrong, for his eyes had gone wide and his massive hands fluttered over my body, looking for a safe place to rub soothingly. I must have been pretty banged up, for his hands fell idly to his sides.

"I think you broke my arm..."

"I think I did, too."

"How bad am I? Be honest..."

"Well," his eyes glanced over my body, cringing at whatever he saw. "How many times have you fallen down? Your knees are skinned up pretty bad. Your head...-" his fingers traced his own forehead, mimicking the wound on mine. "- and your lip is busted."

"Think we could just tell Charlie that I fell in your garage?" I tried to smile, but it hurt.

"How about we tell him you fell off a mountain? Looks about right," he mumbled.

In the midst of our joking around to ease the mood, I had forgotten everything. That I had escaped the Cullen's house, that I had been chased in the forest by Victoria, that she had gotten her hands on me long enough to try and pull me back to her, to end my life once and for all.

"Where did she go?" My body darted upright, pain shooting through my limbs. My eyes darted around the ditch, the edge of the woods before turning to scan the highway. She was nowhere to be seen.

Jacob, too, was searching around before his eyes landed on mine. It was evident that he had no idea what I was talking about. "Bel-"

"Victoria, she was here! She grabbed my ankle...she...-" My words trailed off as Jacob lifted the bottom of my pants up, expecting one ankle before looking at the next. He halted mid inspection, his fingers tracing along my bare skin gently. Moving my eyes down, I took notice to a still-forming bruise in the shape of a hand around my ankle.

"We need to get you out of here... now."

I didn't have a chance to protest – not that I would have – or the chance to help myself up. I was already lifted off the ground, wrapped protectively in Jacob's massive arms, pressed against his chest like a football he was trying to hide from the opposing team. Before I knew it, I was out of the rain, and in the warm comfort of Jacob's Volkswagens. My eyes glanced to the driver's side of the car, waiting for Jacob to join me, but he didn't. My eyes scanned the road in front of the stopped car, though there was no sign of him where we had been. No sign of his reflection in the side and review mirrors either. I felt panic starting to set in, my body thrusting itself into hyperventilation.

Victoria had gotten him, I told myself. She waited until he was alone to grab him, knowing it would torture me if something happened to him.

Tears streaked down my muddy face, staining my torn and battered t-shirt both with the salty mixture as well as traces of blood each tear had picked up on its way. My chest throbbed. Not the same hole that Edward and the rest of his family had created so many months ago, but a new hole directly below. One that burned with such an intensity, it left me gasping for air.

The driver's door opened, eliciting a shrieking scream from me. I was surprised I had enough air to do so. My hands grabbed at anything it could find. Shoes, books, everything I could find. I was tossing them at the figure in the door as roughly as I could. Not that it would do much good in the end.

"Bel- OUCH! BELLA! IT'S ME! OW! STOP!"

I was still throwing things despite hearing the familiar voice, a reflex. Jacob had to climb in the car and grab my wrists to keep me from flinging anything else at him, an action that immediately ended my adrenaline rush and brought my mind back to the throbbing pain in my broken arm. Another scream escaped me, though this one was directed at the pain in my arm that continued to throb even after he let go of my arms.

"Oh! Sorry," he mumbled apologetically.

I waited anxiously as he pushed the car into drive and sped off, clearly not paying attention to the speed limits. I wasn't going to object, I wanted away from here as fast as possible.

The car ride as we sped down the long, winding highway was silent until I decided to break the quiet with an angry question.

"Where did you go back there?" I was only just beginning to feel the infuriation at the fact that he thought it necessary to leave me alone for any given amount of time. Especially after what had just happened... how he had just found me.

"You dropped your cell phone in the ditch, figured you might have wanted it back. The last thing you need is that leech getting a hold of your personal numbers. Tracking down your family and friends just to get to you," his voice was trembling in anger much like mine had been, his eyes still fixated on the road.

"Oh," was all I could say.


	7. Here's To Your Temper

My mind had been basically dead the entire drive. I wasn't thinking about anything, of anyone...

We had arrived in La Push without a problem. The car had stayed on the road; no red headed vampire had thrown us into a tree during the drive, though I think Jacob must have been expecting it. I could feel his tense state. Of course, this was only because I was huddled into his side, too scared to sit any closer to the window on the passenger side in case a pair of hard, old and pale hands grabbed me and pulled me through. At least that death would be quick...

We had been on our way to see Sam, to let him know that Victoria had found me and had gotten at least one hand around me for the briefest of seconds. Jacob was mumbling things about Sam not being able to do his job properly, though I knew it couldn't possibly be their fault – they were only human... somewhat. They needed rest and nutrition just like anyone else. They couldn't be doing everything all of the time.

It wasn't until the pain of my arm started flaring up bit by bit that I asked him to turn the car around. Jacob ignored me, as if it were the craziest of ideas, though seemed to catch on as my fingers trailed along my bruised and swelling wrist. I knew he didn't want to turn around at seek out medical attention for me, there were bigger things brewing than a broken bone, but he did.

The moment the small hospital passed by my window, I was screaming. My good arm tugging violently at the steering wheel in what could only be construed as an attempt to turn the car around once again myself. Of course, it just made the thing jerk around from side to side, swerving across the two sides of the road. I couldn't comprehend a thing was saying, I was too disoriented. The only thing I could make sense of was where he was taking me... I didn't want to go back there, not after the escape I had just pulled.

"Jake! Please don't do this! Don't!" My words were tainted with sobs, my chest heaving as my body threw itself into hyperventilation-mode. "Just take me to the hospital! There are doctors there, Jake! Please!"

"There are doctors there, but none that can fend off a pissed off vampire, Bella," Jacob said through clenched teeth. "Let go of the damn steering wheel."

I obeyed, my good hand instead hitting his right arm repeatedly, not that it did me any good. I was crying angry tears, sobbing uncontrollably. The pain in my chest hurt more than my broken bone, the same hole Edward had ripped open began to tear a little more with each mile that brought us closer to the home I now considered a prison.

I knew Jacob had had enough of my tantrum the moment his hands clenched around the leather steering wheel, jerking the car to the shoulder of the road in a quick but swift fashion. The second the engine cut, we were both out of the car.

I stormed around the front of his car while he stood by the open door, his hands hanging limply at his sides. My good hand was pounding against his chest angrily, my voice screaming in pain. Not from the hard contact his chest provided, but from the excruciating pain in my chest, where my heart had once been.

My tears were invisible against the thick sheet of rain pouring down around us, soaking us from head to toe. I was slightly glad for that small detail, for I had never really liked Jacob seeing me cry, especially not over..._ them_.

My teary eyes looked up in hopes of finding the slightest bit of pain across Jacob's face from the abuse I was attempting to unleash upon him. It was there, a pained expression lingering in his eyes, on his lips... but not the one that I had been longing and striving to see. No, this one wasn't _because_ of me. It was _for_ me.

The pity on his face made me collapse to the ground, the breath completely knocked out of me as hyperventilation took over. I didn't even have enough air in my lungs to cry, not that crying ever did me any good. My gag reflex started kicking in, wanting to expel everything from my stomach, though it found nothing. It was rough to eat, to keep anything down when my body felt the need to vomit every time I was in pain. I had been in immense pain for months...

Jacob's warm hand was on my back, rubbing it soothingly as I spit into the grass, air reaching my lungs for the first time in what seemed like minutes. I gasped it in quickly, only to release it in one brutally hard sob. The warmth of his skin wasn't comforting. I was feeling nauseous, only the cold felt soothing to such a feeling.

Lying down on the soaked ground, I pressed my cheek into the wet dirt, curling myself up into a ball. My arms locked around my legs, pinning them to my chest despite the pain in my arm. It was nothing compared to the ache in my chest, I barely noticed it. My breathing was still laboured; tears still rolling down my cheeks, though I was feeling a little better.

"Seth's here so don't freak," Jacob's voice was a gruff whisper, his body lingering around mine protectively. He knew better than I that the slightest sound – like twigs snapping – would send me into a screaming mess all over again.

I could hear bushes moving, twigs snapping under unknown weight. It wasn't long until the loud noises turned into softer ones, indicating the giant wolf that was approaching had phased back into his human form.

"Jake! Be-...Gosh Bella! You look like _crap_!"

"Shaddup, Seth!" I watched from the ground as Jacob punched Seth in the arm, a little rougher than the kid seemed to expect.

In the time it took me to blink, I had been lifted up from the ground and was cradled gently in Seth's arms. The warmth was nothing compared to the cold I felt on the ground – I instantly missed it.

"I was gonna do that..." Jake glared to Seth, who only seemed to beam a smile in return. Seth was always oddly cheerful, no matter the situation. Apparently not even evil, vindictive vampires could bring the young teenager down.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get her to the Cullen's. Her arm looks broken."

"How did you even know about that?" Jacob walked Seth and I over to the passenger side door, holding it open as Seth helped the two of us in, still cradling me in his arms despite the space available between him and Jacob.

"Embry caught her scent. We tracked her as far North as the trail would let us, but it just... stopped. We figured she doubled back so we tried picking up where the trail went after turning around. Lead us right to you and Bella. Sam was going to come himself, but he needed to brief the rest of the pack. We need everyone on the same page. Do the Cullen's know?"

"No, we're going over there now." Jacob's voice still sounded angry at such a small thing like not beating Seth in picking me up off the ground.

No one said anything for the rest of the short drive. Seth had his arms wrapped both protectively and what he assumed was comfortingly around me - though the heat from his body wasn't helping me at all. I was too warm for once, though I didn't bring it up. I didn't want to be the one to crush his seemingly permanent smile.

I could see Edward standing in the window, peeking around Esme's flawless white curtains. The expression on his face wasn't hard to interpret – he was likely reading both Jacob and Seth's thoughts as Jacob pulled into the garage. I groaned softly.

"Bella? You okay?" Seth's voice was tainted with worry.

"She's fine, Seth. Look where we brought her, you think she wants to be here anymore than we do?"

"I like being here..." Seth practically pouted as he spoke.

The car doors were opening, though not due to anyone inside the car actually opening them. Jasper and Emmett were hauling Jacob out, demanding to know every last detail of what had happened. They wanted to know what he had seen, what I had seen, what the wolves knew... so many questions flying from both of their mouths at such a quick pace, I wondered if Jacob was even able to keep up.

On our side of the door stood Edward and Carlisle, Edward was listening eagerly for Jacob's answers while Carlisle took me easily from Seth's arms and into his own. I had to admit that despite my intense dislike for both him and his family, I appreciated the coldness of his body. Especially in comparison to Seth's overheated skin. Edward stayed at his _father's_ side as Carlisle brought me into the oversized house.

"How did she injure her arm?" Carlisle's voice was soft compared to Jasper and Emmett's booming voices that were still demanding questions from Jacob, but it seemed t be enough to pause the conversations going on.

"I think I grabbed her arm too roughly. Might have pulled to hard, I'm not sure." Jacob looked almost embarrassed as he spoke, smiling sheepishly to Carlisle.

I felt the light breeze that Edward stirred as he flashed away from mine and Carlisle's side, my eyes moving to Jacob, whose throat was in Edward's grasp. Instantly I was fighting against Carlisle's protective hold on me, willing to separate them before someone got hurt.

"You leave visible bruises on her arm and you find the _right_ to touch her again?!" Edward's voice boomed louder than Emmett's and Jasper's combined, louder than thunder or vampire baseball. It startled me mainly because Edward had never used such a tone directed at me or around me, though I understood his anger. He thought Jacob had done this on purpose.

"You better get your hand off me you filthy bloodsucker..." Jacob's words were hissed, his teeth clenched as he spoke.

"Edward! Stop!" I was still struggling against Carlisle's gentle hold on me, my arms and legs thrashing around wildly. I didn't have any tears left, or even the strength to force them out – but they'd be streaming down my face freely by now.

"Edward..." Carlisle's soothing and far too calm voice sounded. I could tell Edward was affected to it, drawn to it almost instantly. His eyes flickered to his father before reaching mine. At that exact moment, his hand fell from its position around Jacob's throat.

"My sincerest apologies." His words were to everyone, his head nodding once, and only once, as if confirming his statement.

My eyes followed Edward as he took the few steps necessary to close the space between himself and me, his cold fingers bushing the hair from my face.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Can you forgive me?"

I glared up at him in disbelief. I knew there was a double meaning to his words.

"Drop dead."


	8. Some Wounds Never Heal

"Ouch."

Carlisle smiled in apology for adding a bit too much pressure to my broken wrist, his eyes not leaving the plaster cast that he was assembling by hand. I hated plaster. It made everything beneath it itch more than usual, and made it increasingly difficult to scratch said itches without disturbing the solid material.|

I had begged for a sling, or a brace... anything other than the plaster, but Carlisle had stated repeatedly that it was the only thing that would keep the bone aligned.

Edward stood, leaning against the wall on the other side of Carlisle's study. His arms folded over his chest casually as he observed. He didn't contribute to the conversation at all.

I sat on Carlisle's desk, my legs hanging over the side, ankles crossed. He held the weight of my injured arm on his hands, not wanting me to grow uncomfortable from holding it up for such a long period of time.

I let out a soft sigh, wondering what Jacob was up to. Surely Seth was getting along with the vampires quite well, tough there was no way that Jake would be as cooperative.

"He's with Esme. She's been quite hospitable." Edward's voice spoke for the first time, answering my unspoken thoughts. For a moment I wondered if his time away had given him the ability to creep into my mind. I stared at him, purposely thinking of things that would surely get some sort of reaction from him. What it would be like to kiss Jacob. Warm, that would be a change. He was a lot taller; I'd have to stretch a bit just to reach his lips. I assumed rough, at least rougher than Edward's kisses. He wouldn't have to hold back with me, I wasn't as breakable to him as I was to Edward.

Edward looked slightly confused as to why I was staring at him, but nothing more. He wasn't in my mind like I had thought; he was just as accustomed to me as ever. Knowing what I was thinking without actually _knowing_. A relief sometimes, irritating other times.

"We're just about done here, Bella." Carlisle looked up from my arm for the first time, his golden eyes warmed by the smile he wore. "I understand that Alice fabricated a story to tell Charlie? That you would be hiking with Sam and Jacob, such a story likely won't work. I've had Esme contact Charlie, she explained –"

"What, that a vampire and a werewolf almost tore me apart? Did she tell him that I walked away with a broken bone and a few bruises, but she'll be back to finish the job before we know it?"

Carlisle smiled in response to my bitter tone. For some reason, he wasn't letting my bitter mood affect him. It infuriated me further.

"No. She explained that we were back. Esme was never one to enjoy large cities like Los Angeles, so it's not hard at all for her to let on she wanted to move back to the comforts of such a small town. She told your father that you took a bit of a tumble on the reservation before you even made it to the hiking trails, and that I had been the one to tend to you at the hospital. Alice had been there; helping me set up my office and insisted you at least stayed the night to catch up."

"And he was _okay_ with this?!"

"I had to fabricate a few facts. For example, Edward has not yet joined us. He's been studying down south for a few months and will be rejoining us in the next few days. He seemed quite content with that."

"Yeah, I'll bet he was..." My words were still bitter, my eyes glaring over to Edward who wore a huge smirk on his lips. For some reason he was finding my father's newfound hatred amusing.

"Alright, we're all done here, Bella. You'll have to be careful, as you already know. Showering will be a bit more difficult than normal, especially since we don't want the plaster to get wet. It is best if you have someone assist you. I could always ask Alice, if you'd feel comfortable with –"

"Absolutely not." I shook my head vehemently. Carlisle raised his hands, his palms facing me in surrender.

"I was just assuming you'd feel comfortable with Alice assisting you since she had done so after you had broken your leg. Is there someone else you'd feel comfortable enough with?"

I shook my head and hopped down from Carlisle's desk. I felt compelled to help him clean the mess up that he had made in an attempt to aide me, but realized it wasn't my responsibility. I didn't even want to come here t begin with.

"I might not be able to keep a boyfriend or fend off a vampire, but I sure as hell am perfectly capable bathing myself."

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Carlisle shaking his head at Edward, though I wasn't sure why. I didn't bother staying around, either. I was learning that staying in the presence of certain Cullen's for an extended period of time invoked my major mood swings so instead of sticking around and letting them feel like slap of said mood swing, I made my way out of the study and headed to the bathroom.

The bathroom was just as huge and unused as ever. I grabbed a white towel from the shelf and pulled the shower curtain open. Of course the shower was stocked with overpriced shampoos, soaps, body washes and hair conditioners, but I didn't want to think about that.

I made sure the water was hot; I hadn't realized how cold my body had gotten since we came inside. I didn't have Jacob or Seth around me, and my body wasn't feeling nauseas anymore.

I knew I was a mess. My entire body had been soaked with rain. My clothes were soaked, muddy, torn and grass stained. My face and my good arm stained with mud. Carlisle had cleaned up my injured arm before plastering it in a cast. I had countless cuts, scrapes and bruises though nothing seemed to be hurting anymore. Not even the hole in my chest. I was far too exhausted to feel anything.

It took me longer than normal to unbutton my jeans, using only one hand, but I managed just fine. The hot bath was running as I slowly undressed myself. I mentally cursed as I realized I had no clean clothes to put on, and that walking around in a towel all night surely wasn't the best thing to do, especially since I would be staying here for at least the night – as Carlisle had said. I didn't want to have to wear any of _their_ clothing. Perhaps Charlie wouldn't mind running a few things over.

I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard the bathroom door open. I had just been about to step into the massive bathtub when I felt two hands on my shoulders, helping me in. I spun around quickly, those same two hands steadying me as I slipped, my eyes focusing on Esme.

Esme was as beautiful as ever. Her pale skin looking like snow against the white blouse and dark blue denim jeans she wore. Her eyes golden, indicating she had hunted more recently while her chestnut hair fell around her heart shaped face. The smile on her lips was that of a mother looking out for a child. I had always been one of Esme's children and in a sense; she had always been a second mother to me.

What did that make her now?

"Bella, honey..."

I cringed at the sound of her voice. It stung, like a slap.

"I know I'm one of the last people you want to see right now, but please... let me help you?"

I was angry at myself for not fighting, but I just didn't have the strength. The weight of the day was finally dawning on me, making me sink into the hot water. I didn't look up at Esme as she grabbed a wash cloth and dipped it into the water, nor did I pull away when she gently began scrubbing at my face, neck and my uninjured arm. Her touch was surprisingly soft, like a mother's should be.

Her hands moved to wash my legs from beneath the water's surface, a soft smile gracing her lips as she looked over at me.

"You look so tired, sweetheart. I'll have Rosalie make up your bed for you."

I still hated the thought of me staying in _this_ house with _these_ people, but what choice did I have? It would be harder for them to protect me at my own home.

"What about Charlie?" My voice was hoarse from crying and screaming all evening.

"I believe Sam and his pack are going to split up. Stick close to town and La Push; they'll be keeping an eye on Charlie especially."

I nodded gently, closing my eyes as Esme grabbed the shower hose to rinse my hair. I could feel her fingers picking out leaves, twigs and various other pieces of nature, the smallest of chuckles escaping her as she tossed them into the bathrooms garbage can. Any other time I was sure I would have matched her polite giggle with one of my own. Not today, not anymore.

"Is there anything we can get you, Bella? Anything we can do for you? We want you to feel as comfortable as possible while staying here."

I shook my head once, feeling my chest tighten, my lungs forcing the air out in that same and unbearable hyperventilating feeling. I could feel my gasps for air sneaking up behind me, my screams building up and my tears behind my eyes. Here I was thinking I had cried them all out...

My hand clenched the side of the massive bathtub, the sobs finally breaking through. I felt the water stirring around me, expecting Esme to be lifting me out though I felt no cold hands around my naked body. I was still surrounded by the hot water.

Looking up through my tears, my eyes landed on Esme who was fully clothed, sitting in the giant bathtub beside me. It took her only a brief second to scoop me up into her arms and pull me onto her lap. Her arms wrapping around me, cradling me into her chest as she gently rocked the two of us back and forth in the water. Her fingernails began running along the back of my bare neck soothingly.

"Let it out, sweetie... Let it out."

I thought that the feel of her touch and the sound of her voice would tear me apart while I was in such a vulnerable state, but it didn't. It didn't sooth me either; it didn't affect me at all. I was a lost girl crying in a bathtub, and she was a complete stranger pitying me, neither affected by either's actions. We were coexisting without the complications of emotions getting in the way.

It didn't take long for me to calm down; I was getting better at reining my break downs in once they've started. A few deep breaths brought me into a normal state of crying rather than hyperventilating.

A knock on the door earned my gaze as Alice breezed into the giant bathroom, a comforting smile on her painfully familiar face. She carried a shopping bag with what I assumed was clothing, setting it down on the large bathroom counter.

"I figured you'd want some clean clothes to change into, and I had a bit of a vision earlier of you throwing a tantrum if we gave you any of our own clothes so..." Alice shrugged sheepishly as she spoke, obviously not knowing what to say. "If there's something wrong with them let me know? I don't mind going back out and finding something you'd prefer to wear. Or if you don't want new clothes we could always take you back to your place and get some over there?"

"I'm sure that Bella appreciates the new clothing, Alice. Perhaps we should let her breathe instead of throwing things at her? I'm sure she would rather come to us with her needs and wants rather than having us decide them for her." I appreciated Esme sticking up for me despite my automatic loathing her right now.

"Well I'm not going to let her walk around _naked,_ Esme."

"If that's what she wants to do, who are we to refuse it at this point, Alice? I think we've done more than enough."

"Fine, let her prance around here in the nude. That'll surely help the situation."

I could feel Esme taking in a deep breath, readying herself to respond to Alice's harsh statement though I decided I'd had enough. I was calm, I was in control of my emotions and I was cold. Esme's body had chilled the once hot water to the point my skin was covered in goose bumps and I was shivering from cold rather than shivering from such violent sobbing.

Reaching out of the giant bathtub, I grabbed the white towel I had set aside for myself, easily and quickly wrapping it around my body as I stood up. I didn't bother drying off; I was already slightly mortified that two people were sharing the bathroom with me while I was without clothing.

"Thanks for the clothes." My voice was monotone, obviously not thankful in the slightest as I grabbed the bag Alice had placed on the counter for me.

Making my way out of the bathroom, I took notice to Edward leaning against the wall out in the hallway, his arms crossed over his chest, a pained expression on his face. It was quite likely he had just heard one of my many breakdowns, though I didn't feel the need to comfort him and he certainly knew better than to try and do the same for me.

Clutching the towel tighter around my body, I padded past him. My wet feet slapping against the hardwood floor as I made my way across the large house and up the stairs to the room that the Cullen's had dedicated to me for the time being.

Jacob and Seth were standing outside my new bedroom's door, Seth instantly shielding his eyes while Jacob chuckled and raised an eyebrow in response to my towel clad body.

"New look, Bells?"

I glared in response to Jacob's taunting; pushing past his and Seth's massive bodies to get into my room. Once in, I launched the bag of clothes across the room angrily and slammed the door on the large boys outside. I was still livid with Jacob for bringing me here of all places, their growing laughter only deepening said anger.

I stood there in the darkness of my new bedroom for a few minutes, sighing deeply to myself as I ran my hands threw my wet hair. Asking myself repeatedly how I had managed to get to where I was. A few days ago I was broken beyond repair, vowing to never allow the Cullen's back into my life yet here I was allowing myself to be manipulated into the safety of their arms once again.

"Bella?"

A part of me knew that he was lurking in the darkness of my new bedroom perhaps that was why I had hesitated in discarding my towel and changing. It would have been too unlike him not to try and confront me behind closed doors where Emmett and Alice couldn't tug him away, where Jacob and Seth – who had since left the door to my room – would be unable to confront him.

"I'm not meaning to corner you in the one room of this house we wish you to feel most comfortable, I just thought it would be polite to extend an invitation to tomorrow evenings gathering." His voice was blank, emotionless. He knew that the simplest hint of love or regret would set me off. I was thankful that he had enough compassion to save me from that. "It would raise a bit of suspicion should we return to Forks without Alice so much as throwing some type of event. She's convinced both Esme and Carlisle to allow her access to the house for the evening... Your father will be there. I think he's excited to see you after all these excuses to keep you from going home."

I liked the idea of seeing my father again; it felt like forever since I'd had the opportunity to sit there in not-so-awkward silence. I was surprised at just how much I missed something so simple. I realized just how much I had taken that for granted.

"Of course, you don't have to attend if you're uncomfortable with the concept. I personally won't be forcing you, and I can assure you I wouldn't let Alice do such a thing, either."

"I'm not dressing up."

"That's your choice, we won't force you do that, either."

"Good to know. I'm going to get some sleep so you should... go."

I was surprised just how easy it was to sleep that night. After I had asked Edward to leave and gotten changed into my new pajamas I was out cold. I didn't remember dreaming or screaming through the night. It seemed that for the first time in months I had slept peacefully.

Waking up, however, was another story all together?

The door to my new bedroom crashed open, jolting my awake instantly. Alice breezed in, a far too excited smile on her face. My heart was practically pounding out of my chest as she pushed a small closet-on-wheels into the room, countless dresses hanging from countless hangers. I cringed, knowing exactly what she was up to.

I was angry, more than anything. Edward had given me his word that he would not force me into anything that I wasn't comfortable wearing, or into anything I wasn't comfortable doing, and dressing up fell into both of those categories, instantly labelling him as a liar once again.

"I don't think so."

"Bella, you know I'm not going to let you prance around tonight in pyjamas. Jeans and sneakers are completely out of the question as well."

"Edward promised me I wouldn't have to wear a dress. He said he was going to talk to you..."

"Edward left for Alaska last night." My eyes grew wide, though I wasn't sure why. "Don't worry; he'll be back before the party. He just has to run an errand first." Why did I even care? I shouldn't care.

"So... you decided to force me into a dress while he was away? You know you won't get away with that, he'll let me change the moment he finds out what you're up to."

"No he won't. You know Edward never could resist you when you're all dressed up, Bella. Now stop being so darn difficult and come try some of these on! I was thinking red, it would really bring out the red in your hair, but it's too _long_. Knowing you, you'll trip and tear the material. With that in mind, I chose the black for you. "

I sighed deeply as Alice went on and on about dresses I didn't care about, knowing I wasn't going to be getting out of this alive. I watched as she pulled the black dress that she had chosen from the hanger, shaking my head in disbelief. It was beautiful, for a dress, though I wasn't an expert like she was. It would instantly lose its beauty being worn by someone as plain and uncoordinated as me.

The material wasn't one I was familiar with. It looked as fine and smooth as silk, yet subtly frilly. A slit had been made in the dress on the left hand side. It was meant to leave almost all of the left side open to the eye, though Alice must have known I would not be comfortable wearing that, and had it filled with what I could only assume was a blood red silk. It wasn't long like the others, nor was it too short. I knew it would come to rest around the middle of my upper thigh. I'd have to remember not to bend over too far...

"Since you're not enjoying this as much as I thought you would, I'll be nice and let you wear converse sneakers. I already have a black and red pair downstairs that'll match, just don't scuff them up for get them dirty before the party."

At least I'd be wearing shoes I could walk in...

"Rosalie's going to do your hair for you since I have a bit of last minute preparation to do. Please don't fuss about it, either. She's going to take care of those awful bags under your eyes and get the tangles out of your hair once and for all. She has no problem pinning you down if she has to."

"So with Edward gone, I'm basically you're hostage..."

"Hostage is such a rude word, Bella."

"It seems pretty fitting..."

"Now, the party is starting promptly at six. Edward should be back around five, he has to discuss something with you, I believe."

"You _believe_? You see the future, you damn well know so just tell me."

"Charlie is coming just after six, he's picking Billy and Sue Clearwater up, Jacob and Seth are still here, and I think that Jasper and Emmett are helping them with their clothing for tonight. Not that the two appreciate being manhandled by vampires, but they don't really have a choice. It's either that, or they have to deal with me."

Alice offered me a massive smile as she sat the black dress across my bed before tugging the closet-on-wheels out of my room along with her, calling over her shoulder as she left me and the inevitable party alone to stare each other down.

"Get something to eat, Bella. Don't make us force it down your throat!"

I glanced to the end of the bed, glaring with a seething hatred at the dress that would be my physical prison for the entire evening, shaking my head as I kicked it off the bed and went back to sleep.


End file.
